


Playing Doctor

by iridomaniac



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2017-12-26 10:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridomaniac/pseuds/iridomaniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their battle with the Chimeriad, Alvin's mind is looming on Jude's words, letting his guard down enough that he almost falls to his death. </p><p>With Jude helping him to recover, both of them start seeing each other's intentions...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jeez, it's been three years since I've done any writing of the fan fiction variety. For good reason too since I felt like most of my works didn't hold a candle to it's full potential.
> 
> Well, guess I'm back up for more and didn't learn my lesson. *snort*
> 
> This should be a four part series. Should. I'm trying to make that as a goal for myself so I can complete it. There might be a sequel, but, I'm not making promises just yet. 
> 
> Nothing explicit in this first part, but at least how I view Alvin, he tends to take something and run with it....run very very far with it.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters, just this sad excuse of a plot. Enjoy, please let me know what you think :) 
> 
> ==

There had been countless battles that he was involved with from the start of his mercenary career that he would walk away without a scratch. It became a second nature to him to focus on the battle and let no other lingering second thoughts cross his mind, let alone let his thoughts wander. 

At first it wasn't noticeable, he would have some close calls before recovering and putting an end to the fight with a finishing blow. But as each fight came within times with no intervals in between to where his technique was becoming predictive and sloppy. He would get the occasional questioning look from his comrades before shaking his head and moving to the monster. 

It's nothing to worry about. Just keep going, Alvin. You're better than this, he would repeat to himself in a mutter in his mind.

But the words of a certain honor student were much, much louder.

Alvin shook his head as he swung his sword down, embedded to the ground to let his free gloved hand push against his sweaty forehead through his now messy and oily hair. Was he seriously going to let a kid's words get him worked up like this? It wasn't hurting him physically, and it wasn't going to change anything. He was better than that he heard worser things that could put a damper on a guy's ego. It wasn't going to change a thing.

...Was it...?

"Alvin...? Alvin! Alvin, watch out!"

The mercenary didn't look up like his instincts tried to tell him to do, all he could feel was the ground caving from under him, his sword was out of reach as he fell down the breaking earth. Alvin didn't know what hurt more, the initial collision of his body hitting the earth, hitting every rock and boulder on the way down....  
Or the fact that he let Jude's words of trust get to him long enough to meet such a fitting end. He couldn't help but laugh a bit to himself before his head met one of the boulders, and Alfred Ven Svent's world went black. 

\--

He could hear the sounds of dripping water next to his head. He felt like he was forced still on his back. He tried to open his eyes, but only darkness greeted him. At first his vision was blurry and could see the slight glow of different colors in the room, but he couldn’t make out any shapes around him. 

“Huh...is this what death is?” He managed to whisper, he could feel his voice crack from speaking for the first time, “Kinda lame.”

“You’re pretty far from it.” A voice chimed up, causing Alvin to stiffen, shortly after wince at the immense pain that followed. Footsteps could be heard as a light was slowly turned on of glowing mana at the bedside, Alvin had a better look at his surroundings, it looked just like a typical dorm room. He attempted to tilt his head, but found that to be painful as well as his eyes glanced over at Jude who straightened up from lighting the room up.

“...Are we…?”

“Back in Fenmont yes.” Jude replied, reaching up toward Alvin’s face, the mercenary feeling a cold cloth against his face, he shuddered a little, but it felt nice against his skin as it was moved about his face, “You were really badly hurt from that fall. So we went back here to have you recover.”

“...Isn’t this...?"

"My dorm room." The younger finished simply. He placed the cloth over Alvin's forehead before sitting down on the side of the bed the mercenary's body wasn't occupying, "You've been unconscious for about a week, so your manas really low."

Alvin held back any thought of correcting him, but he didn't hide back his chuckle, flopping his head back, "Well...guess I'm pretty tough to kill, huh?"

Jude cracked a little smile, but it didn't remain on his face, "Everyone was worried about you...we almost didn't find your body in the landslide."

"When you say that you mean when a good chunk of them gave up looking for the liar?" Alvin asked casually, which didn't help Jude's expression, "Maybe they said 'good riddance', eh. No hard feelings really, I wouldn’t have tried looking too hard for me either.”

“Would you stop talking about yourself like that?” Jude snapped quickly. Alvin didn’t flinch as he looked back to the doctor with a small motion of his shoulders in attempt of a shrug.

“Well it’s over now right? You found me, I’m alive...not really kicking just yet, but I’m in the good hands of the honors student, right doc?”

Jude didn’t answer as he looked to the window. Alvin couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable to the silence, “Your silence isn’t all that encouraging.”

“Sorry...but you’ll be fine, the recovery process is going to be a delicate one. You fractured several bones. I currently have your body in a stabilized state so you don’t hurt yourself.” 

“So what...am I going to have to go through rehab...or something?”

“More or less…despite the fall you were in a better position than Milla…”

Upon the mentioning of Maxwell the mercenary fell silent, looking back up at the ceiling again, “So...how’s she?”

“She’s okay...you know her...single minded as always…” Jude trailed off. 

“What’s wrong? I thought you were going to be continuing on the journey with them.” Alvin raised an eyebrow. Jude blinked a couple times before putting a hand to the back of his head.

“I already told you, they’re-”

“You don’t have to lie to me. The others went ahead on the journey with Milla right?”

“...” Jude sighed, defeated.

“Heh, you can’t lie to a liar.” Alvin chuckled again, “I’m surprised though...why didn’t you go with them? I thought you were going to stick with Milla’s side…”

Jude continued to be silent. The mercenary thought the boy wasn’t going to answer until he stood up, “I didn’t want you to wake up with no one there...but I   
didn’t want them to delay on the mission. So I stayed behind…” 

The mercenary tilted his head to look at the outline of Jude shielding away the glow from outside. He couldn’t help but smile a little since the boy couldn’t see before commenting, “I don’t need your charity, kid.” When the boy turned around he looked back up with a straight face, “I know you’re needed back with the group-”

“I’m not the only one that is, though. You’re needed just as much.” Jude finished that conversation quick, his amber eyes seemed to burn at the Mercenary’s mere suggestion of leaving him. 

“Who said that?” Alvin quipped. 

He saw Jude’s throat tighten at the question, “Alvin. I’m not going anywhere until you recover. And with that you will recover so we can finish what we started.”

“Is that the doctor’s orders?” Alvin smirked.

“If you’ll cooperate for that reason, then yes.”

“Fine, fine…” 

“But there’s a caveat.” 

Of course there was a catch to all this. Alvin resisted the urge to sigh, but his body failed him that suppression, “...And what’s that, kid?”

Jude crossed his arms, “If I help you recover, you can’t run away again, no more lying, no more tricks….is that understood?”

All jokes aside the mercenary’s eyes went half lidded, the echoing words coming back to mind:

I’d like to think Alvin knows how I feel.

He normally would’ve agreed like usual, brush it off as if it were nothing. Let everything pass and hope to never come back to the same conversation again. He never ran away from a fight...but he always ran away from everything else.

“Well, that’s kind of dark, do you bribe your patients like this?” Alvin asked. Jude’s body stiffened again as his hands tightly held his arms before flinging them down to his sides.

“I said is that understood?!” Jude’s head hung forward with his eyes closed as if he were afraid to look eye to eye with the other. 

Alvin felt like he held his breath when the other shouted back at him like that. It was the first time he heard the boy actually speak up in an order. He swallowed the knot of air that was lodged in his throat before exhaling, his own eyes falling to a close.

“You have my word, Jude.”

It felt strange to make a promise like that. He lost count how many times he did say he would agree to something before turning around and doing what he wanted or what he thought was the more appropriate thing to do. Never before did he feel the weight of this commitment on his chest, it was heavier than all the drugs combined that the young doctor had him under. 

Jude slowly looked up, but his hands were still clenched to his sides as if holding back any motions to sock it to the mercenary’s face. Alvin didn’t blame the kid, he had every right to be angry, bitter or any other of those emotions. In fact, he owed him nothing. 

Nothing. 

“...I hope I don’t have to hold you to your word.” Jude said quietly, he reached over and removed the cloth from Alvin’s forehead. The movement was so subtle, but neither male broke eye contact from each other.

Jude’s eyes fell half lidded, holding the cloth in his palm to his side, “We’ll begin your rehab in the morning.”

“Ah...Okay...right…” Alvin closed his eyes, swallowing again. Why couldn’t he get this dry feeling from his mouth? He opened his eyes again to give a weak smile, 

“Thanks, kid….I owe you big time for this…”

Jude stayed quiet as he went to close the blinds, so the glowing from the outside wasn’t as noticeable in the room. Alvin could still make out the boy’s outline in the shadows, “Sleep well.” 

“You do the same…” Alvin replied back in an awkward tone, watching the outline stride past the bed to what seemed to be a pull out mattress not too far away. As if the mercenary didn’t feel any more like an ass, he was sleeping on Jude’s bed. He sighed again in defeat and closed his eyes, in attempts to get some sleep. He had no sense of what time it currently was or the time Jude meant by ‘morning’ in Fenmont anyway.

But it wasn’t like the mercenary was going to get sleep anyway after a conversation like that.  
\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I figured I'd post Part Two up, thankfully this ones a lot longer than the first part. Part three will be posted once I read over it to make sure that its presentable to the public.
> 
> Again, don't own any of the characters, just the sad plotline. Please let me know what you think :) Constructive commentary goes a long way for me.

Time went by for Alvin, he couldn’t tell from outside, but he could tell based on when Jude would wake him up and to the time that the other let him get some rest. They started off slow with the rehab, just standing up and doing some basic step motions on the bedside. It was like the mercenary had to learn to walk all over again, just like Milla. 

It seemed like regardless of Alvin’s mood, frustrated or not, the doctor seemed to be rather patient and understanding when he needed to be and knew when to be firm and encouraging. 

By day three Alvin was able to get up from the bed on his own with little help from Jude. He still had to rest every now and then to ease his limbs, but he was able to move around and get things on his own, even though Jude insisted that he could get what the mercenary needed, whether it was a drink of water or some food. 

The nurses that were in the Talim Medical School saw Jude walking along side with Alvin, holding the other’s hand as they stayed along the walls of the school. Alvin couldn’t help but feel like all eyes were on them as they passed. But the younger male didn’t seem to take note of this. Alvin wasn’t even sure if the other even cared.

“Well, seems like we’re on the topic of gossip.” Alvin commented as they did their usual walk around the outpatient area. Jude tilted his head with a confused look.

“I thought you liked the attention, Alvin.”

“Aha...so you do notice them talking about us.” The mercenary smirked. Jude used his free hand to scratch his head.

“Maybe a little bit, I get asked a lot of questions by the nurses when you’re getting rest. Especially by Prinn.”

“Prinn...oh right, the lady in outpatient, aren’t we passing her office now?” Alvin tilted his head forward as if looking for the mentioned room. Jude blinked a little before nodding, “Yeah, wanna stop by to say hi?”

“Sure…” Alvin lowered his voice, leaning down to Jude’s level, “Anything to avoid the clucking nurse hens.”

“Got it.” Jude chuckled. 

Jude knocked a couple times at Prinn’s door before opening it, “Prinn, you have a moment?”

“Oh Doctor! And Alvin, nice to see you both, I was getting ready to leave from lunch.”

“Sorry about that, maybe if I walked a little faster we would’ve caught you sooner.” Alvin chuckled. Prinn held a hand up in defense, shaking her head.

“Oh please, it’s not a problem at all, it’s always nice to see you make a speedy recovery, especially within just a few days.”

“Well it’s all the help of a certain honors student.” Alvin nudged the smaller male next to him, who couldn’t help but flush from the compliments. 

The woman giggled at the pair’s antics, “It won’t be long until you’re back on your adventure, huh?”

At the mentioning of what was soon to come the two paused, exchanging glances at each other. The woman gave a confused look before Alvin shrugged softly, “Yeah, that’s coming around the corner, but we’ll cross that hurdle when we get there. C’mon kid, I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

“But we just-” Jude started before realizing what the other was doing and bowed his head, “Well, I guess we’ll be taking our leave for lunch then, take care.”

“Thanks, nice seeing you two again.” Prinn waved as the two left as fast as they entered. The two walked the halls out of the outpatient hall in silence, not without hearing a couple whispers from the fellow nurses at the reception desk. 

After they left the building Alvin took the time to break the silence, “I guess it won’t be long til I’m fully recovered huh…”

“Yeah...remember you-”

“I know, I know. I promised, kid.” Alvin turned to look at the youth who was staring at the ground as they walked, the teen didn’t seem convinced at all. The mercenary let a soft sigh leave his lips, squeezing Jude’s hand, “You helped me walk again and gave me my independence back….I don’t think anyone else would’ve done it, let alone had the patience of a saint to do that for me of all people.”

Jude still didn’t look up, but a soft smile grace his lips, as if proud, “I guess you’re right...but you’re just as I predicted.”

“What’s that?”

“You make a horrible patient.” Jude pursed his lips in attempts to hide his chuckles, but failed miserably. Alvin stopped walking, rather stupefied by the comment before quirking his lips to the side, eyes playfully narrowed.

“Excuse me, mister honors student?” Alvin used his free hand to grab the other to tickle his sides, talking over the youth’s fits of laughter, “After all those compliments I spew to you, you say I’m a ‘horrible patient’?! Sheesh! See if I ever ask for your kind of health care again!” 

“Gah! hahahah! L-Let ahah! gah! Alvin let me explain!!” Jude tried to pry himself from the other’s grip, but he didn’t find the ability to since he was laughing so hard.

“What? I can’t hear you over your begging for mercy here!” Alvin laughed along with the boy, having him pinned against the building wall for support, brushing his hands on the student’s ticklish waist. The other’s laughter was rather soothing to hear after all the awkwardness for the past few days. It wasn’t forced...it was natural for once.

After a while, when Alvin was satisfied the boy received a well deserved ‘punishment’ he ceased in his ticklings, grinning and chuckling himself, but didn’t move from his position on the wall, his body almost hovering the boy’s,“That’ll teach ya to call me a horrible patient, Doc.” 

Jude sulked on the wall, trying to catch is his breath as he spoke, “Wh...what….what I meant was…”

“Yeah yeah, spit it out already.” Alvin rolled his eyes. Jude gave the other a playful smack, “Oh now he’s hitting me, I’m suing.”

Jude was almost laughing to the point of tears, “Alvin! S-stop making me laugh!”

“And barking orders, your reputation’s going down, kid.” Alvin snorted. Jude gave a playful glare as he tried to ease his breathing, tilting his head back against the wall, turning it to the side.

“Wh...What I meant was….you’re just...not meant to be a patient….you’re meant to be free...independent….you’re not meant to be trapped and relying on someone like this….”

Alvin was catching his own breath as the other spoke before his breath became non-existent, his gaze lowered to look at the youth. His body sulked a bit as he looked to the side, “And what you want me to be is the exact opposite of that.”

Jude looked up at the mercenary, who didn’t meet his gaze that time, “You’re right...I’m meant to roam free… follow my own rules...make them up as I go…so   
what if I’m not tied down by morality….or a conscience….I have them too...I just don’t use them.”

“...Why not?” Jude asked innocently.

Alvin didn’t want to answer, instead, he pushed himself off from the wall, his body swayed without the support of Jude holding him, but he managed to keep steady, “Let’s just say...I didn’t like the results when I did use them.” 

The doctor didn’t know what to say really to that, the way the other seem to distance himself proved that this wasn’t just some lie...that this wasn’t just something that Alvin pulled out of thin air for once. Jude pushed off from the wall, approaching the mercenary and shyly wrapped his arm around Alvin’s waist, reluctantly squeezing since he didn’t know how much pain the other was in, “I’m sorry for bringing up the topic…”

The older man stood there, rather startled that the other went out of his way to comfort the other in a more physical manner. Jude noticed the feeling he was being looked at as he tilted his head up, his cheeks puffing up a little, “W...what? You always hang your arms on me all the time, why can’t I?”

The comment startled the man more, but he smiled and shook his head, one of his hands ruffling the youth’s hair, “No, it’s not that...just surprised, that’s all.” 

Jude closed his eyes when he felt the large hand against his head, squinting his eyes back open to look ahead, “Did you really want something to eat, or were you just wanting to get out of there?” 

“Now that you mention it, a nice bowl of noodles sounds amazing right about now.” Alvin looked up in thought.

“After we do some more rehab?” Jude asked, only to get a pout from the older man.

“But I’ve been doing that all morning. Besides, it’s not right to starve your patients.”

“Oh please, you’ll live.”

“But doooooc.” Alvin sarcastically whined as they continued down the street.

“No no, we’ve been over this dozens of times.” Jude replied just as sarcastically.

Alvin chuckled as his own arm wrapped around Jude’s thin shoulders, “Fine fine, I’ll do some rehab like a good trained monkey and I’ll get food out of it as a reward, but this is between us, got it.”

“My lips are sealed.” Jude replied with a grin, nudging the mercenary on the side, only to get nudged back.

\--  
“Hah…” Alvin gripped the bars that were on either side of his body before pushing upwards, living his body off the ground and holding it there, Jude standing not too far from the other in case he needed assistance. The mercenary shakily lowered himself back down, wobbling again, but tightened his grip on the bars, he sensed the other’s hand moving to help him, instinctively he shook his head as he pushed up one more time, he could feel his arms buckle from the strain but he continued to hold himself up several inches from the ground.

Jude felt like he was holding his breath while the other was in mid air before going back down, his shoulders twitched before he shook off the feeling, rotating as he glanced at the youth, “Well, that’s twenty.”

“Heh, I remember a couple days ago you couldn’t even hold yourself up for two.” 

“Oh thanks, remember that instead of the progression.” Alvin commented as he pulled the towel that was draped on one of the bars to wipe the sweat from his face, “What now?”

“I need to check your vitals again, we don’t want you pushing yourself.” Jude said as he gestured the other to follow. Alvin slowly walked across, using the bars for support since he was still exhausted.

“I just want to be able to get back to normal again, I feel as old as Rowen trying to do these exercises.” 

“You’re making progress, you’ll be back to normal sooner than you think.” Jude said as he let the older man sit down at one of the cots that were provided in the rehab room. Alvin sat on it awkwardly before watching Jude write out some things on a clipboard, “So you’ve been recording everything on me this entire time?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s the only way we can see your progression.” Jude huffed, picking up a stethoscope from the nearby table since he would need it later and draped it on his neck, holding his hand out for Alvin's wrist. The mercenary complied, holding the palm of his hand for the boy to grasp. Alvin watched the other in silence, he knew the other took his work and observation rather seriously, but it was always...just a bit unsettling that this was supposed to be a fifteen-year-old in his presence. The way Jude acted mentally made Alvin think he was Rowen's age.

Jude released Alvin’s hand to write down his pulse, he frowned a little glancing at the other’s long sleeve shirt, "Um...I'm gonna need you to take your shirt off...please." Jude added the manners rather quickly, which piqued the mercenary's interests.

"Hm?" Alvin pretended he didn't hear him, "You say something, doc?"

Jude stammered a bit before taking a breath to calm himself. Alvin could see the tension build for the boy, what was getting him so worked up?

"I need to take your blood pressure, but I need...." he glanced to the side, tugging on the long sleeve Alvin was wearing. 

Alvin followed the other’s hand to watch him tug at the article of clothing as if it were an embarrassing secret. The mercenary didn't think too much on it as he shrugged, about to remove the article himself but thought for a moment in terms of finding out why the boy was acting strange. 

"Me to take my shirt off?" Alvin repeated the boy’s request. Jude stiffened in his seat, but nodded, but quickly shook his head, giving the other a weak glare.

"Th-that's what I said!! Would you stop making everything weird?" 

Alvin raised an eyebrow, "I dunno...you're the one going twelve shades of red."

The mercenary paused for a moment before grinning, "Oh I get it. You didn't have to worry about me making commentary on it when I was in a coma state when you changed me from my clothes to a hospital gown hm?"

The young doctor’s face was covered red as he shot back, "Alvin!"

"Well I was wearing the same boxers, so I guess you didn't go all out to see the gald and prizes-"

"Alvin!!" Jude shouted as he covered the other’s mouth, the other’s expression couldn't decide whether to be embarrassed or annoyed, the mercenary’s eyes seemed to gleam a little in curiosity. Oh Jude Jude Jude, what could you possibly be hiding from Ol' Alvin?

The young boy took a deep breath, his cheeks still burning bright, "Please...just...."

Alvin figured he tormented the other enough as he pulled the other’s hand from his lips, "Fine fine, I won't tease you, I guess."

He shifted to remove his shirt, wincing a little before pulling the article completely off, groaning a little in pain. Jude seemed to forget his embarrassment from earlier and grasped the other’s shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"Ah....I'm fine...gonna be a lot better when I can actually do things normally...like walking normally and stripping to embarrass you."

Jude’s face went back to being red, "H-hey! How can that be normal?!"

Alvin chuckled a little and placed the shirt to the side, straightening up, "Best continue the observation, doc."

The younger male sighed in defeat as he grasped the other’s upper arm with one hand, raising it just a bit and watching the other’s expression to make sure he wasn’t uncomfortable, with his free hand he tapped his finger against the skin, causing a ring of light mana to appear before it squeezed, Alvin tilted his head to watch, before looking up, “Huh, didn’t know you could do that.”

“It’s one of the first things they teach you in med school to utilize mana to it’s best extent.” Jude said, releasing the other’s arm, at the same time the mana ring went away as well for Jude to write down the other’s blood pressure, as the boy wrote, it seemed like the boy’s eyes were keeping focus on his work the entire time. Least he was using all of his will power to do so. The kid was tough nut to crack, but nothing that Alvin couldn’t handle.

“So what else can you do with your mana?” Alvin asked, “Strip people?”

“Would you stop asking those embarrassing questions?”

“Hey, trying to solve the mystery of why you’re getting so worked up about me being shirtless, I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of naked people in your lifetime than any other kid your age.” Alvin grinned, “So, kid. What makes yours truly so special?”

“Y-You’re not special!” Jude scoffed, crossing his arms.

“Ouch, way to put me down gently.” Alvin rolled his eyes. 

“Just stop trying to get me flustered about every single thing I do alright? I’m just following procedures.” 

“Sure...sure.” Alvin shrugged, attempting to stretch, making sure to let his muscles flex a bit, grinning like a loon when he saw he caught the other’s attention,   
“Though I didn’t think procedures include going googly eyed on their patients hm?”

The commentary only made the honors student scowl, “Would you put your shirt back on?”

“Nope. Too hot. Also it hurts worse to put it back on.” Alvin leaned back a little in the cot.

Jude sighed in frustration, figuring if the other was going to be this difficult, he might as well finish the procedure and get it over with so he could find some reason to leave and catch his breath, He put the stethoscope head piece to his ears, holding the metal part to the other’s chest, causing Alvin to jump a little, 

“Sheesh, that thing’s cold as a witch’s tit, don’t you warm that up first?” 

“For patients that don’t give me a hard time about miniscule things, yes.” Jude shot back impatiently, “Now inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.”

Alvin sighed a bit before obeying the boy’s orders, as he did he glanced up to see the boy with his eyes closed as if concentrating on his very heartbeat, and probably avoiding that his hand was against his chest. The man rolled his eyes and leaned up close to the boy,nudging the earpiece away to whisper hotly in the other’s ear, “Find anything yet?”

Jude’s eyes snapped open, before he could jolt away, the man held on to the other’s hand that still was listening with the stethoscope, “A-Alvin!” 

“What was just asking.” Alvin chuckled a bit, he could feel the other’s fidgeting, but he made sure not to hold on too tightly to the other, but enough he wouldn’t make it easy for Jude to pull away. Then again, in his condition, the younger male could’ve been able to kick his ass with no contest. However, the mercenary sensed that since Jude didn’t resort to violence so quickly, he knew he could probably pry answers from him with enough convincing. 

“Wh...what are you doing?...” Jude stammered, his face going right back to red again, trying to pull his hand back, letting go of the stethoscope that flopped silently against his chest. Alvin didn’t move, but he looked eye to eye with the young doctor.

“Just trying to figure out what’s going on inside that head of yours. You put up a good front, but something tells me you’re hiding something.” 

“I’m not hiding anything, Alvin, now will you stop being weird-?”

“What did I say before to you Jude? You can’t lie to a liar…” Alvin’s eyelids lowered peering into those amber eyes that seemed to tremble in his gaze, “I’m going to find out, Jude Mathis, so are you going to tell me? Or am I gonna have to seek alternative methods?”

“W-what kind of methods?” Jude asked under his breath. Alvin smirked.

“Gee, I thought you said that you weren’t hiding anything.”

Jude stiffened a bit in the other’s grasp. Alvin couldn’t help but smirk wider. Gotcha.

“Oh but since you’re curious about those methods, I guess I’ll give you a hint…” Alvin chuckled, leaning in, “How about I give those nurses something more to talk about.”

“H-Huh!? What do you mean by that?!” Jude started to put up a struggle, but Alvin managed to keep a good grip on the other’s arm, using what was left of his strength and the fact that Jude didn’t want to hurt him to his advantage.

“Simple. You’ve been dedicating a lot of time on me for the sake of getting me better, but I think everyone that even remotely knows you is seeing a different story...and now that things are coming into light, I’m starting to think that there’s more to it than just getting us back on our journey.”

“There’s nothing more than that, Alvin, now please let go!” Jude tried again to pull his arm away, but Alvin kept his grip firm, the younger had to look away from the older almost as if he was going to hit him, which confused the mercenary. 

“If it really was nothing, then why are you getting so frustrated like this? Why are you getting red with just me being shirtless? You have a more zenful mind than anyone I know.” Alvin said calmly before sighing, shifting his hand so that it was grasping Jude’s, “Kid..look at me.”

Jude ceased his struggling, as if the other’s words snapped him back to the mindset he should’ve had if nothing was wrong, tilting his head to Alvin’s direction, but not opening his eyes. Alvin frowned a little, “Jude. I said look. At. Me.”

Jude flinched again, but obeyed, staring eye to eye with the other again, upon seeing the other’s eyes, Alvin started to see a little of the fifteen-year-old self that Jude so desperately kept tucked away behind his ‘mature adult-like’ self. The side that tried so hard to not be noticed, the side that Alvin wondered even existed for the youth. 

“You’re being rather hypocritical if you’re wanting me to be honest to you.” the mercenary said softly, “now...between you and me, I don’t want you to follow my same path...you’re too good for that. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“I….I don’t know alright?” Jude finally managed to get the nerve and strength to yank his arm away from Alvin’s grip, “I don’t know!” 

Alvin sat there, unsure whether or not to press further. Well he’d gotten this far in getting the other to spill, might as well go all out, “Don’t know what?”

Jude took a sharp inhale as he pulled off the stethoscope from his other ear, slamming it down on the counter next to him, “Ever since the battle…..no before the battle against the Chimeriad….the landslide….ever since then I’ve been worried about you, thinking about you to the point that….you’re in my mind all the time...t….to the point it’s driving me nuts!”

“Is that why you were willing to stay behind?” Alvin finally asked.

“....I talked to Milla about it.” Jude muttered as he sat down on the cot next to Alvin, “She said the only way for me to figure out my feelings was to figure them out on my own...She...had a point...I would’ve been useless to her if I kept thinking about you…”

Alvin sat there in silence before putting a hand to his forehead, chuckling softly, “Ah...wow….funny how life works sometimes…” 

“...Why do you say that?” Jude asked, watching as Alvin laid back on the cot, slowly putting his arms behind his head like he normally did, not without some wincing.

“...’I’d like to think Alvin knows how I feel.’...” Alvin repeated Jude’s words as he closed his eyes, “That’s what you said to Presa back there...right?....It hasn’t left my mind ever since...Was that some sort of...hint there? That you were wanting me to figure out what you were thinking?”

Jude blinked as one of his hands wrapping around himself to grasp his arm, “Kind of...It never occurred to me like that at the time…but..now that you mention it-”

“Jude.” Alvin said abruptly to stop the boy in his thoughts, “Maybe this is my intuition talking...but I want you to know what you’re getting yourself involved with. This isn’t something you can just...undo or something you can just forget about. You may act like an adult, but you’re still young. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life...I’ll be damned if I let you make one willy nilly without thinking it over.”

The younger male looked at the older male who laid there with his eyes closed. Despite how much pain the other was in, he still always looked so carefree, without any worry in the world. 

“Why does it matter to you?” Jude asked quietly, which made Alvin exhale from his nose sharply with a small smile.

“Because you said so yourself, you couldn’t get me out of your head. It obviously involves me, but what that is however you need to decide.” 

“But I-”

“If I make the decision for you, everyone’s going to think I pushed you into the situation. You may have a form of reliance of me, but no one else has. Another thing is, you’re gonna have to decide yourself if you want everyone to know or not.”

“Alvin…” Jude whispered rather helplessly. 

“I just want you to think about it, Jude...it’s not going to be long until we’re back on the journey.” Alvin sat up again, groaning in pain as he glanced down, seeing his shirt next to the boy on the opposite side, he reached over to get it, seeing Jude’s face immediately tinge red again of the older man being so close, without thinking the boy put his hand over the older male’s chest. Alvin glanced down at the boy, eye to eye with Jude. He lowered himself even more so that their foreheads were touching, waiting to see if the other would try to move away or push him back since his hand was already there, but it seemed like that was the last thought in Jude’s mind. 

After a long moment of silence and just staring at the boy he broke the space between them, planting his mouth over the youth’s. Jude flinched, but didn’t pull away, gasping when he felt Alvin’s tongue touch his bottom lip and giving entrance. The older male’s tongue ventured in Jude’s oral cavity, almost finding it hard to break the kiss, but he forced himself to pull back before he got carried away. Jude was left whimpering a little, unsure if he wanted to continue or not, but this time the flushed look on his face was not going to leave so easily.

“The choice is yours Jude…” Alvin said as he took his shirt and stood up, wincing a little as he slowly made his way out of the rehab room, leaving the boy alone with his thoughts.  
\--


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ho...Kay
> 
> So I was moving in the past couple weeks so it was hard to continue this without distractions. Welp. 
> 
> Now that I'm free and have a nice working computer I can do what I please!! Damn Right!
> 
> So, fair warning I did add a little addition to Alvin...*clears throat* Hopefully people will approve of that said 'addition'.
> 
> For those who don't read the summary are going to be pleasantly surprised. Or not, depending on what you like *shrug*
> 
> WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.
> 
> I only own the measly plot. You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through! D:

Jude sat there in the rehab room for what seemed to be hours for him, but was only mere minutes. his hand still planted over his lips, still tasting the mercenary on his tongue, his lips still tingled from the sensation of the kiss. He wasn't a stranger to it, but this felt like fireworks went off in his brain. 

And he wanted more of it.

He took a deep breath and flopped onto the cot he was lying on. The conversation they had was on repeat in his mind, and he kept going right back to that kiss as if the repeat was just stuck there. Part of him was on edge, knowing that the other had issues keeping to his word that even the thought of trusting him with a relationship was a whole other can of worms.

But the other part of him wanted to live life a little dangerously. Run after the mercenary and finish where they left off, it didn't matter if they were in the hallway-

"No, no no no..." Jude chided himself, putting his hands to his eyes and forehead. The nurses were gossiping enough, he managed to dodge the bullet that Alvin was going to 'give them something to talk about'....  
Then it occurred to the younger male that Alvin left the rehab room.

Shirtless.

Without him...

"Oh blessed..." Jude got off the cot and went outside the rehab center, only to find Alvin was long gone. He looked around as patients and staff passed, trying to catch a glimpse of the brunette, but no luck. 

Jude was about to sigh in defeat, least until he felt someone grab him by the arm and yank him towards the outpatient center, he looked up to see Prinn looking like she was on a mission, “P-Prinn?!”

She didn't respond to the boy until they were in her office, which she promptly locked, “What the heck is going on, Doctor?!”

“W-what do you mean…” Jude asked, paling a little, fearing for the worst. She gave the other a look, he couldn't place it if it was annoyed or worried.  
“Doctor are you having an affair with Alvin-”

“Prinn?!” Jude almost shouted, who covered the other’s mouth.

“Tell me doctor, are you having an affair with him?”

Jude backed away from the woman’s grip, “Where are you getting this from?!” He couldn't wrap his head around it, how did she possibly-

“Some of the nurses saw Alvin leave the rehab room shirtless and straightening his pants as he did so!” Prinn said in a lower voice, Jude’s eyes were a wide as dinner plates as she continued, “You have a lot of explaining to do!”

“I...nothing happened, Prinn-” Jude stammered, but he could tell that his words were falling to deaf ears when she crossed her arms at him, “Please just...just let me explain…”

Prinn stood there for a moment, realizing she had the boy all shook up. She sighed and sat down at her chair, patting the seat that was next to it. Jude felt like a kid that was being ushered into the principal’s office as he sat down, staring at the floor.

“...It’s okay, Jude...please just tell me what’s going on.” she said quietly, putting a hand to Jude’s knee. He looked up at her, this was the first time she ever spoke to him in a manner that made evident of his younger age. 

He looked back at his feet as he told her everything, from the battle with the Chimeriad, the landslide to what happened in the rehab center, all without looking up at the other. He wasn't sure what her reactions were, but he knew she was holding on to every word he said.

“And now...I just...don’t know what to do…” Jude sighed, finally having the ability to be brave to look up at Prinn, who had her hands folded on her lap, her cheeks slightly flushed from knowing the information wasn't too far from the truth, but was terribly exaggerated.

“Well...I guess the question is...do you like him...in that manner?” Prinn asked slowly. 

Jude tilted his head back down, “I don’t know…”

“Well, did you feel something from that kiss?” 

“W-well, it’s not like I get kissed all the time, Prinn.”

“But did you?”

“D-Does that really matter?!”

“Jude Mathis, will you just answer the question-”

“Yes alright?!” Jude said as he stood up, “and I don’t...I don’t know where to go from here...of course I know he’s older than me, more or less he’s completely not my type, he’s completely unreliable to being honest at times and just……..”

“....Downright irresistible?” Prinn finished.

“....is that bad?” Jude asked in a tiny voice.

“Well…..”

"It's bad isn't it?" Jude rebutted.

"Only by certain standards...?" Prinn tried but that didn't ease the youth’s fears, "Are you going to act on them?"

"...." Jude cradled his head in his hands, "That's what I'm afraid of..."

"Jude..." Prinn sighed, before sitting back in her seat. 

The boy peeked from between his fingers to look at the assistant, his face turning red again, "Yeah....this isn't normal for a kid my age huh..?"

“...Do you want my opinion on this?” Prinn asked.

Jude hid his face again, but nodded his head.

“Well….honestly if I was your mother I would probably tell you that you shouldn't be getting yourself involved with someone of that background, let alone an older male...for someone your age you might be thinking of those things, but they are adult situations.” Prinn stated before sighing, “On the other hand, you’re...not a normal kid….”

Jude was expecting all of that commentary until the last, looking up at the assistant with surprise, “Prinn..?”

“Jude...your body and who your attachments go to...is your decision. You’re young, but you are mature enough to handle what’s thrown at you…” She chuckled a little, “Besides, you've been outside this city and more with your group than most people would ever experience in a lifetime.”

The young man didn't expect that kind of response, scratching the back of his head, “Th..thanks I guess….”

Then Prinn went serious, “But don’t let him convince you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If he doesn't get it, you give him a beating he won’t soon forget, you got it?”

Jude’s eyes widened at the sudden tone, “P-Prinn!” 

“What? I think I’m safe to say I wouldn't be the only one hunting him down if he tries anything funny. Those other nurses care about you too.”

“I...I…” The younger was embarrassed and surprised to think that so many people would care about his well being. Prinn couldn't help but laugh a little.

“Please...just be careful, you know you can always talk to me for advice.”

Jude smiled sheepishly back, bowing his head, “Thank you, Prinn….”

After saying his goodbyes to Prinn, he made his way to the dorm room, where Alvin most likely was at after the whole fiasco. He couldn't help but get a little irritated. What if the other did that on purpose to make it seem they did more than just kiss? Or was it just a harmless gesture at the wrong time? He tried to weigh the options in his head as he took the elevator up to his dorm room. As he looked out the elevator window as he went up, a thought came to mind. What was he going to say to Alvin? Was he really going to make a decision now? 

He leaned against the wall, sighing as he tilted his head up. There was no way he could just let these thoughts play out in reality, not without testing the waters first. Maybe if he explained to Alvin he just wanted to start off slow and keep it to themselves for a while, maybe they could work their way up. It seemed to be the most logical option. He went without a sense of physical attention, he could hold up from it a little while longer.

Then the thought of that kiss replayed in his head, only to make Jude shake his head. No. He had to be mature about this, he couldn't go rushing in like this...he had to tread carefully. Very carefully. 

He stopped at the door of his dorm room with his eyes closed and arms crossed, having a firm agreement to himself. He was going to tell Alvin he wanted to start off slow, that he wanted to keep everything on the down low until he could decide for himself if this was something he wanted. He nodded to himself before opening the door, “Alvin, are you in he-”

The entrance lead straight to the bathroom, which had the door wide open with hot steam coming from it, Alvin was standing at the sink with a towel wrapped around his waist as he was shaving the stubble from his face, his hair still wet from a shower. Jude quickly went inside before anyone in the hallway would see, locking the door and having his back pressed against the door as if something was going to lunge at him, “A-Alvin?! Why are you-”

“Oh, sorry. Thought you wouldn't be back for a while.” Alvin replied, chuckling as he leaned forward on the sink to get a better look at his face, not without giving a nice view for the young man to just barely see up the towel-

Jude made an incoherent noise that was mixed between a squeak and yelp before turning away, his face completely red. 

“What are you getting so freaked out about, you've seen me shirtless before.” Alvin replied coyly. Jude couldn't help but glare at the other’s back, but his face was still burning from the blush.

“Alvin, when you left the rehab center did you readjust yourself at all?” 

“Maybe I did?” Alvin replied innocently.

“Maybe you did?” Jude repeated.

“Well, I didn’t know I had an audience apparently.” Alvin replied with a shrug, causing the younger male to fume.

“You liar! You knew the nurses were out there!”

“I plead the fifth.” Alvin said as he nudged his razor against his cheek to get a couple stray hairs.

“Alvin, they think we had sex in there!” Jude said as he fumed towards the other, “What happened to me being the one to make the decision on if anyone knows or not?!” 

“I was talking about the people that actually mattered, not the clucking nurse hens.” Alvin stated as he rubbed his free hand against his face, feeling around for anymore stray hairs, dipping the razor in the water to rid of the shaving cream. 

“So you purposefully did that to start up rumors?!” Jude asked, his fists at his sides. Alvin turned his head to look at the youth, who froze a bit in his gaze. For once what normally was an easy stare to look to suddenly became difficult.

“And? What are you going to do when there’s nothing but rumors around you?” Alvin went back to the sink, putting the razor aside so he could scoop up the water to wash away the rest of the shaving cream, when he leaned forward, Jude had to glance away again since that towel left nothing to the imagination. But what the mercenary said really hit home for the youth, no matter what rumors would be around them. He would have to deal with them, even if they were misunderstandings….

Just like the misunderstanding with Milla and the Lance of Kresnik..

“Well then, since you’re here….” Alvin splashed on some aftershave on before drying the sides of his face with a towel, “I take it you've made some sort of decision.” 

“Ah...um...y-yes..” Jude stated, swallowing hard. He made a decision alright, way before he even entered the room, why couldn't he get the words to come out? Jude was about to turn back to the other, but he heard footsteps approach him, catching glimpse of Alvin’s bare feet on the hardwood floor before whipping around.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Alvin asked, stopping. 

Any nerve or thoughts of just going slow seemed to fall from sight for Jude as he stared at the door. He lowered his head so his forehead was touching it, “...I’m….I’m a little nervous…” 

“About what?” Alvin pressed.

“...A-About what I want to say...it’s hard to explain things when you’re in a towel.” Jude replied honestly.

“Ah….” Alvin said from a distance. Jude took a breath, thinking the other got the idea as he heard the footsteps, but his breath got lodged in his throat when he felt the other’s body next to him, since he was staring down he caught glimpse of the towel fall to the floor in a silent heap at his feet.

“That better?” Alvin asked against Jude’s ear, leaning his arm against the door frame. Jude gasped, about to shout out but Alvin promptly put two fingers to Jude’s lips, silencing him, “Ah Ah Ah….don’t want your dormies to hear hm?” 

“Y-You did this on purpose.” Jude hissed against the other’s fingers. The older brunette couldn't help but smirk.

“What can I say? I tend to try to get to the point.” 

“This...this isn't what I had in mind…” Jude said quickly, turning his head away from the other’s fingers, but only gave Alvin access to his bare neck as he gave slow kisses against the skin, earning a gasp from the younger male.

“Mm...Well, what a shame…” Alvin mumbled against the skin, playfully nipping at it to draw another squeak from Jude, “I thought I would at least reward you for getting me this far in recovery.”

“You...you don’t owe me a-anything! Ah!” Alvin bit down at the other’s skin, causing the younger male to arch into the mercenary’s nude body, trembling as the other sucked on the spot on his skin, “N...No, don’t leave a hickey there-”

“Whoops.” Alvin snickered, licking the forming bruise. Jude’s eyes were wide in horror, “A-Alvin!!” 

“What? It’s just a hickey, I’ll let you borrow one of my scarves, sheesh.” 

“Alvin, h-hold on for a moment, I….I just need to…” 

“Need to what?” Alvin asked, sliding his bare arms around the other’s body since he was leaning into him. Jude didn't know what to do, feeling warm in the other’s embrace. Jude tilted his head into the other’s chest, glancing up at the other with a pouty look. Alvin blinked a bit before sighing, pulling back enough so they were eye to eye, “It’s kind of hard to stop when you’re sending mixed signals like this.” 

Jude looked to the side in embarrassment, he realized he did kind of lead the other on, “S-Sorry...I just….I wanted to take things slowly you know...just...just long enough for me to get used to it before we let the other’s know?”

Alvin’s eyes went half lidded before chuckling softly, “Fine..fine..I guess we can take baby steps with this. So...how many more days do I have til I fully recover?”

“Ah...maybe about a week….” Jude replied.

“A week huh?...” Alvin smirked, “Good...plenty of time…” 

The younger male blinked, confused, “Huh?”

“So...in a weeks time….we can...try each other out...get a feel for each other. By the time I recover, you can make the decision if you want to or not.”

Jude fidgeted a little in the other’s arms, “To….do….”

“Well, if my body allows, you know...I don’t want your first time to end up being blue balled, you know?” Alvin shrugged, “Just not my style.”

The younger male fidgeted at the thought, “Is...is that really plenty of time?” 

“Kid, I have a week with you alllll to myself. I think I could sweep you off your feet.” 

“What?! I’m not like a damsel in distress that you can just-” 

“But Jude, I’m naked.” 

Jude stammered in his words, trying his best to not look down, only making Alvin’s smile get bigger, “Now you’re just playing dirty!” 

“All’s fair in love and war.” Alvin said as he tilted Jude’s head up so they were eye to eye, “Do you really want me to test my theory that I can make a damsel out of you?”

Jude huffed, “It’s not a theory until-”

“Proven. Got it.” Alvin rolled his eyes and kissed the younger male deeply. Jude fidgeted in the older’s grip, his hands grasping the other’s arms as he tried to focus on breathing through his nose, only to inhale the musky scent of the mercenary’s aftershave to the point he was feeling dizzy. He must have smelled it hundreds of times when Alvin would drape his arm around him, but it was so strong it was intoxicating. Jude found himself parting his mouth again to allow the other’s tongue in, only this time being more of a participator. The mercenary was pleased as he pressed them both against the door for support, his legs shaking on him since he was standing for so long. The younger noticed as he pulled away, panting, “Did….did you need to…”

“Mm…” Alvin nodded as they both slid to the floor, Jude was looking down as they did so, his eyes catching a glimpse of Alvin’s ‘gald and prizes’ to find it rather..decorated. 

“Ah...Alvin?” Jude stammered a bit as the mercenary found his neck again, this time the subtle kisses were making the younger fidget a bit more. 

“Mm?” Alvin asked distractedly, giving a slow lick on the boy’s neck, “What is it?”

“Your...um…” Jude motioned with his head to Alvin’s down south. The mercenary followed the other’s gaze and chuckled sheepishly, “Oh right….that’s my reason why I don’t gamble.”

“H-Huh?! You mean you…”

“Mmhmm. Longest six months of my life after that.” Alvin breathed, sitting back against the door, Jude was hesitant, but Alvin made the decision on where he was going to be and settled the other on his lap facing him, the honors student felt himself being molded up against the other, He was being pulled down, but he stiffened his body to prevent him from seating completely, “W-Wait, isn't that going to-”

“You’re not that heavy. If I can catapult you with my sword, I can have you on my lap.” Alvin rolled his eyes as he pulled the other on his lap again, which made Jude produce a yip of discomfort at first, his knees hitting against the door.

“Ouch...Alvin! T-That hurt…” 

“Sorry sorry…” Alvin whispered, tilting his head up to look at Jude, who kept moving a bit in his lap, as if unsure he was hurting the other, “Jude I’m okay, calm down.”

“If you’re rewarding me for getting you healed up, I don’t want you to get injured doing so.” The younger pointed out. 

“Where’s the fun or chivalry in that?”

“Do you really want to go through rehab again?” Jude raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, more time with you.”

“Alvin…”

“Heh, again, it’s okay.” The mercenary stated with a smile, it was rather cute how the youth always seemed to worry about his well being before hand as he latched on to the boy’s neck again, drawing out those noises from Jude’s lips. 

“Ah...Alvin, don’t make anymore hickeys…” Jude whimpered.

“I didn't hear a please.” Alvin chuckled against the doctor’s skin.

“Alvi-Ah!” Jude’s body had a mind of it’s own as he arched into Alvin’s body. The mercenary chuckled, giving a delicate suckle on the boy’s pale skin, “I dunno, kid...you seem to enjoy it a lot.” 

“T-That’s embarrassing…” Jude stammered. 

“Well you did want me to prove that I could sweep you off your feet, still not convinced?” Alvin smirked.

The younger male shuddered a little bit at the other’s look, he knew the mercenary’s look reeked of something devious, “Alvin…”

“Take that as a no…” Alvin replied, leaning forward and kissing Jude again, this time, letting his hands explore a little bit as he untucked the boy’s uniform to let his fingers slide under the fabric. Jude stiffened, but didn't stop the kiss as he shifted a little on the other’s lap. Alvin made a soft growl, twitching his hips to Jude’s causing the other to pull back and let out a breathy moan, using one of his hands to cover his mouth in embarrassment. 

“Hey, no cheating...you can’t tell me you’re convinced if you have your mouth covered like that.” Alvin grinned as he kissed down the boy’s neck, unbuttoning the uniform, but just leaving it on the other’s shoulders, he tilted the other’s body up so he assault the other’s nipples with his tongue, nipping at them playfully. 

“A-Alvin…” the boy attempted in a stuttering whisper, his breath was becoming shaky as Alvin’s hands slid lower to grope either cheek of Jude’s rear. The student yelped again, thus covering his mouth once more, not used to this sort of attention. The man chuckled again swirling his tongue lazily on the skin and breathing against the wet spots as he spoke, “You make rather cute noises when you’re hot and bothered, Jude.”

“N.no...don’t say that…” Jude whimpered, fidgeting on other’s lap as if to escape, but Alvin kept him right where he was.

“Why not? Still embarrassing?” Alvin asked. The youth nodded his head in agreement. Alvin couldn't help but smile a little, “But you like it when I’m touching you, right?”

“Ah..um...y-yes…” Jude replied.

“Have I swept you off your feet yet?” Alvin raised an eyebrow, earning him a playful glare back. He held his hands up, “Well, okay, I guess I’ll keep going. Tough crowd.”

“You don’t have to-Ah!!” Jude’s body jerked up when Alvin’s hand cupped his still clothed length. He wiggled a little, as if shying away, “Alvin….I thought…”

“We’re not even getting there. This is what they like to call ‘foreplay’.” Alvin explained softly, his head resting on Jude’s shoulder, “I will understand if you don’t...but you have to trust me..”

Jude was trembling in the other’s grip to where it was worrying Alvin as he released the younger male, “I’m so-”

The younger male silenced the other by kissing him gently on the lips, pulling back so there was a distance between them, “It’s okay...I...I trust you.”

“You’re not just saying that?” Alvin asked, his eyes softening.

“Of course not...I’m just scared to make a mistake…”

“If you really were scared...you probably would’ve ran for the hills when you had the chance.” Alvin said knowingly, which made the younger smile back.

“Heh...you do have a point there.” Jude chuckled a little, hesitating a bit.

"Do you trust me...?" Alvin asked slowly, letting his hands rub up and down Jude's thighs. The medical student looked up, giving a quiet nod. Alvin waited for a moment to give Jude time to change his mind before kissing him again, his hands shifting them so their hips were aligned. Jude tried to silence his whimpers and moans, but they managed to vibrate against Alvin’s lips, giving him enough encouragement to continue. 

Jude pulled back when he felt the hand against his length, this time under the layers of his lower garments, the large foreign hand wrapping around his manhood before retreating back, making the youth twitch his hips upwards again in a silent plea for Alvin to do it again. The older male was quick to notice that the touch was okay as he undid the buttons and zipper that got in the way, grasping the seat of Jude’s pants and pulling down to where the garment bunched at his thighs. Alvin didn’t waste any time to take the now exposed length in his hand, seeing what new noises he could uncover from Jude’s lips. 

“Alvin…” The younger protested in his movements, but didn’t dare move away from the feeling that Alvin was providing. The mercenary slid back a little on the door so he was at an angle, which made Jude lean forward, giving 

Alvin the right angle to take both lengths in his hand. The student gasped again, the hot sensation of the other’s member against his own, the pulsing sensation and the movements of Alvin’s hand was almost becoming too much. 

“A-Alvin…” Jude tried again, a little louder, his hands grasping the other’s shoulders trying to balance himself. Alvin glanced up at the other as if waiting for more words, questioning the other with his eyes. Jude whimpered, getting more embarrassed making eye contact with the older and looked down and to the side, his hips twitching in need to the other’s hand movements.

“Just tell me…” Alvin said lowly, tilting Jude’s head up so they were eye to eye, “It’s just me here, kid…”

Jude shuddered a little when his eyes met Alvin’s, he bit his lip in uncertainty, but with how he was exposed he couldn’t see Alvin continuing more than just a hand job. He had to trust Alvin...he had to, “P-Please...m..more…”

Alvin’s eyes went half lidded as he leaned forward, kissing along Jude’s neckline as he stroked faster. Jude could’ve sworn he heard a moan against his ear that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. Jude couldn’t help but slump his head into Alvin’s shoulder as well, just focusing on the feeling of Alvin’s lips and hand, his own fingers digging a little into Alvin’s skin. He was almost afraid to dig in more, but the older didn’t seem to mind, more or less care on the grip. The younger male was lost in the feeling, listening to his tenor gasps in harmony with Alvin’s short groans.

Alvin seemed to make a biting post out of Jude’s pale shoulder, the bites didn’t feel as painful, in fact they seemed to nudge Jude closer and closer to the edge, his breath was labored and hard to keep track of when his heart needed oxygen to continue, breathing in the scent of his own sweat mixed with Alvin’s and his cologne. Too soon for Jude’s mind he could feel the sense of his body ready to lose itself, he didn’t want to let go, but his fidgeting made his urgency known to the mercenary. He didn’t hesitate to move his hand faster, biting down hard on Jude’s shoulder again. Jude let out a helpless cry he couldn’t contain to himself, it bounced and echoed in his dorm room, possibly leaking out to the hallway, but he was too lost in his own climax to care, at the same time he felt Alvin shift back and make a couple sharp grunts of his own.

When Jude had a chance to open his eyes he realized that he made quite a mess on Alvin’s hand and abdomen, he was about apologize until he saw the victorious grin on the mercenary’s face, “Mmhmm...that’s a swept away face if I’ve ever seen one.”

The student could’ve sworn his entire face was hot enough to cook on as he scrambled off Alvin’s lap, but failing miserably since his pants still were collected at his thighs, “Y-You didn’t prove anything!!”

“Deny all you want.” Alvin shrugged, putting his arms behind his back, groaning a little in pain, but that didn’t make that grin fade away, “I still got a week.”

The medical student finally started to realize what the mercenary was intending on doing for the next seven days. Dumbfounded he scrambled to pull his pants up, “So you’re trying to seduce me into a decision!”

“I thought that was the idea…?” Alvin gave a quizzical look. Jude fumed, stepping back and tripping on the towel that Alvin ‘accidentally’ dropped earlier, landing on his rear. Alvin sighed, shrugging casually like he always did,  
“How am I supposed to convince you to make a decision? Besides, I think this’ll be fun.”

“Fun? Fun!? For Undine’s sake I’m-” Jude tried, but he couldn’t find any words to counter the other. Furious he chucked the towel at Alvin’s face, “For goodness sake put some clothes on!”

“Well I would be if someone didn’t orgasm on my chest.” Alvin replied, pulling the towel off with one hand. Jude stormed towards his bedroom,which made the older male tilt his head, “Hey, where you going?”

“To bed.”

“But it’s still the afternoon.” Alvin expressed boredly, running a finger across the lines of cum on his chest. 

“....N-No it’s not! We have a lot to do tomorrow anyway if we’re going to succeed in getting you to recover.” Jude fumed, turning to look at Alvin, “So you better go to bed too!”

“Well fine by me, I guess. But I have to take another shower unless you want me to still smell like us having sex. Wouldn’t want the hens to know we did it twice hm?” Alvin stated as he licked his cum covered finger, making sure Jude was watching. 

The look on Jude’s face went from confused to horrified to just embarrassed as he whipped right back around, “G-Goodnight Alvin!” He didn’t wait for the other to respond before slamming his door.

Alvin sat there against the door, rather pleased with himself, using the towel to wipe off the remaining stains on his chest, calling out to Jude, “Guess this means I get the couch bed then?” He didn't expect an answer as he rolled his eyes, shakily making his way to stand, “Guess so…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, just when I thought this was going to be four parts, this last part got a little long for my tastes.
> 
> So yes, before people get up an at 'em, the full monty still isn't there. I'm writing it now as you read this. So don't hate on me, I just wanted to post this so you know that I was alive XD
> 
> I gotta say this, this chapter was a pain to write, just because I had to make sure everything flowed, I had my friend look over it 403980348 times asking 'does this sound okay? is this okay? does this sound like emotional teenagers slicing their wrists faster than a Belieber, please tell me it's not.'
> 
> But I did want to thank pretty much everyone who gave me kudos so far to put up with this amount of chapter writing XD You're the reason I keep putting myself through this since I'm a sucker for pain and torture. All I own is the plot guys. And please comment, I will be more than happy to respond to them XD

Jude was in Purgatory. That was probably the best way to describe the situation he was in at the moment. Why? Was it because he felt extremely warmer than normal in the morning? No? The fact that he still had teenage hormones enough to get a boner? Eh, probably but not the main source.

Was it the fact that Alvin was sleeping next to him in the nude?

...Most likely.

This was ‘day three’ of the week for Alvin to recover and potentially have Jude decide whether or not to give each other a shot. He just couldn’t decide on if he enjoyed the attention or not. The fact that Alvin’s lackadaisical attitude about everything just seems to throw Jude off completely.  After their fateful activities three days ago, Alvin was incapable of keeping his hands off him more than usual. He was even making efforts to make things awkward whenever the nurses were around, even Prinn. First it was just subtle touches, then playful nudges or smacks and escalated to the point where Alvin would corner him to random make out sessions in one of the spare patient rooms.

Jude sighed in defeat as he looked at Alvin who was still sleeping away next to him. Even when he was asleep he had a lackadaisical look to him sleeping on his side with his arm tucked under his head the other subtly scratching his stomach. He wanted to get mad at the other for invading into his personal space, but it was just like Alvin to just do what he wanted to.

The youth settled back in again on the bed, facing the other, just watching him sleep away, it was rather peaceful to see the other like this, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander down since Alvin didn’t have the covers on him. He jerked his head right back up before his eyes could even get to down there, his face red.

“Mm...you move a lot…” Alvin mumbled with his eyes closed. Jude stiffened a little before exhaling.

“How did you…”

“Your breathing pattern, you have a cute snore by the way.” Alvin replied without moving.

“I-I don’t snore!!” Jude stated, offended.

Alvin opened his eyes with a sleepy grin, “Mmhmm..yeah you do. It’s not loud or anything, just a breathy one.”

“Nevermind that, why are you in my bed?” Jude asked, crossing his arms.

“Couldn’t sleep, besides, when I was still recovering you had me sleeping on your bed originally. Why the sudden change, kid?”

“That’s not what I-” Jude started, but put a hand to his temple, “Look, you’re taking this ‘seducing me’ thing a little too seriously.”

“Maybe I am.” Alvin replied, reaching over, brushing his fingers past Jude’s bangs, “I thought you’d at least like the fact that I would take you seriously amongst other things.”

Jude could feel his face heat up a little as he hid under the covers, “That still doesn’t explain why you’re naked.”

“Mm...Figured you’ve already seen me naked enough that you’d be used to it by now.” Alvin replied lazily, “I normally sleep nude anyway.”

Jude sighed a little as he poked his head out from the blanket, seeing Alvin lean over to kiss the youth’s lips softly. The doctor scrunched his face a little, but his face still colored red as Alvin chuckled, leaning back.

“Good morning to you too. What’s got you all riled up anyway?”

“Aside from someone being naked in my bed, nothing.” Jude replied, at this Alvin rolled his eyes.

“I get it I get it.” Alvin replied, before grinning and getting under the covers with Jude, the younger male yelped in surprise who tried to get away, only to have long strong arms yank him right back in to pull him close to his bare chest.

“Alvin!” Jude fumed, trying to smack the other upside the head, but it didn’t faze the older male who just continued to hold on to him.

“Hm? What?”

“...” Jude fidgeted in the other’s grip, “You’re impossible…”

“Oh how am I impossible if someone here just will succumb to his wants and desires for once.” Alvin teased into Jude’s ear like an evil conscience. The student attempted to struggle out of the other’s grip, but Alvin didn’t make it easy to escape.

“Alvin, please let me go.” Jude said firmly, Alvin wasn’t having any of this ‘hard to get’ with Jude and wanted to make that rather clear as he continued to whisper in his ear.

“Jude, please let me have my dirty way with you.”

“A-Alvin!!” With some pent up strength Jude pried himself out of Alvin’s arms and off the bed, not without taking the cover’s with him, landing in an ungraceful thud to the floor. Jude groaned, flopping over on his stomach as Alvin peered over the bed, propping his head up with his palm.

“What? I asked politely.”

“Oh I beg to differ!” Jude fumed as he sat up, tangled in his blankets. Alvin couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

“Really now? What other kind of begging can you do?” He asked, leaning forward to Jude with a grin. With that comment, Alvin earned a nice punch to the face, sending him almost halfway off the bed with Jude storming off to the bathroom in a huff. Alvin sighed, rubbing his cheek, “Okay. Maybe I deserved that.”

The two didn’t speak too much through the day, since Jude didn’t give Alvin the ability to do so. Alvin could tell the comment got the student rather worked up as they went through the daily rehab routine, which Alvin was almost able to do with little to no flaw. The honors student seemed rather distracted in his own thoughts, to the point where Alvin had to wave his hand over Jude’s face to snap him out of it sometimes.

“You alright there? It seems like you need a break more than I do.” Alvin commented in concern.

“Ah...no, I’m fine...let’s continue.” Jude stated, his face looking rather flushed...but Alvin couldn’t tell if it was out of embarrassment or something else.

“Hey...seriously, are you okay?” Alvin asked, reaching out and placing his large hand over Jude’s face, rather startled at what he felt, “J...Jude you’re running a fever.”

“I said I’m fine Alvin.” Jude used his hand to nudge Alvin’s away, “Stop stalling your session and let’s continue…”

“Jude, you’re a doctor for Maxwell’s sake, don’t you think you should be aware of your own symptoms?” Alvin pressed as Jude turned as if he was going to get something, but his hand seem to just hover over the various tools on a table cart, not reaching out for anything, just avoiding the other’s touch.

Alvin observed Jude’s movements near the table, as if he were going to reach for his stethoscope he left on the counter before his entire body swayed to the side with no point of stopping. The mercenary’s movements weren’t as quick to react, but he threw his body as much as his legs would allow, knocking the cart over in the process and making an ear shattering crash, the tools clattered like a flustered windchime in a hurricane. Alvin had the youth tucked in his arms, in a panic that he didn’t catch the other in time, attempting to awaken the other, “Jude? Jude! Can you hear me?!”

“Alvin?!”

The mercenary looked up to see Prinn come to their aid, pushing the cart aside with all her might before kneeling next to the two, “What happened?”

“I don’t know...he had a fever and then just...he just…” Alvin tried, holding the teen in his arms, looking up at the woman as if she wasn’t going to believe his story. She sighed, placing her arms under Jude that Alvin wasn’t occupying with her arms, “Here..let me help you…”

Within minutes Prinn had Jude set up to one of the outpatient rooms, checking his vitals, breathing patterns, everything. Alvin was floored at how quick she was in her movements, the years and years of experience showed as she worked. He didn’t know what else to do but to sit nearby Jude’s sleeping form.

“His mana lobes are really fine...but I’ve never seen something like this before…” Prinn stated as she looked at something on her screen.

“What’s that…?” Alvin asked, turning to look at the nurse, who looked back to him, concerned.

“It’s as if his mana lobes have been...shut down…”

“What?...How is that…” Alvin trailed off for a moment as he stared at the charts, he couldn’t make one lick of sense to any of it. But one things for sure….

This wasn’t just an ordinary fever…

“Will he be alright?” Alvin asked to break the silence between them. Prinn looked at Jude’s sleeping form before looking at Alvin.

“Everything else for him seems normal...this phenomenon is only heard of in the movies… You sure the only symptom was…”

“A fever...aside from him spacing out from time to time…” Alvin repeated what seemed to be the dozenth time.

“I don’t understand…” Prinn started.

Their thoughts were torn away when a red light near Prinn’s computer was going off. She stood abruptly, “That’s an emergency…” She looked at Alvin who was still sitting next to Jude’s form.

“Go ahead...it’s your job.”

“But-”

“You said everything else about him is normal right? I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“....” Prinn bowed her head, “I’ll be in the room down the hall, if you need anything please let me know.”

Alvin nodded as she left, his hand gently brushing Jude’s bangs away from his face, he didn’t look like he was in any pain at all.

He sighed, leaning back in the seat he was in, closing his eyes, “You can come out now. I know you’re there.”

Silence greeted the mercenary for a brief moment until he heard the click of high heels behind him, a pair of small thin hands gently graced his broad shoulders, he could feel the warmth of a bosom from behind the back of his head, but he made no move to lean to it more.

“You’re such a killjoy, Al, I was going to surprise you.”

“You surprised me enough with putting Jude in a borderline coma…” Alvin scowled, “I thought you didn’t want to see my face anymore.”

“Aw Al, I didn’t kill him...besides, his majesty would be rather upset if I did.” Presa stated as she sulked a little more into Alvin, the man’s head between her large breasts, “I just wanted to talk.”

“About…?”

“About when you’re going to ditch this brat.” Presa stated bluntly.

“Why? Getting jealous?” Alvin kept his bored tone.

“Hardly.” Presa cooed pushing herself off with her hands on either side of Alvin’s broad shoulders, causing the man to cringe a bit in pain. I wasn’t long before her eyes narrowed as she grabbed Alvin by the hair, pulling his head so they were eye to eye “Have you forgotten everything or did you fall and hit your head that hard?”

“I haven’t.” Alvin stated, wincing at the pull staring up at Presa since that was all he could do without causing a scene, “But I could’ve sworn that I was just someone that would use you and just throw you away…”

“Are you actually trying to say I’m lying?” Presa asked. The mercenary could only scoff.

“Hardly.”

“So what does this brat have that I don’t?” Presa asked, her free gloved hand tracing the structure of Alvin’s jaw, her claws just grazing on the man’s olive skin, “Answer carefully, Al. Gaius said I couldn’t kill your little boy toy, but he didn’t say anything about killing you.”

“Seeing as he was the one who went to more lengths to find me alive than you did, I think that’s a pretty good reason.” Alvin replied with a shrug.

“You think he actually did that because he cares about you?” Presa asked while stifling a mocking laugh.

“If I died there, it would’ve saved him a hell lot of trouble wouldn’t it?...The fact that he’s still here...why I’m still here...must mean something.” Alvin replied, wincing again when he felt Presa tighten her grip.

“That doesn’t matter...what does now is that you still owe a debt to us.” Presa stated harshly in Alvin’s ear. The mercenary closed his eyes, the subject of the matter seemed to injure him more than how Presa was rough handling him.

“...Aren’t we getting a bit hasty…”

“Even in your current state you have a fighting chance...she however doesn’t.” From the way that Alvin looked at the Chimeriad with deadly intent showed he knew who she was. Presa got a thrill from it since she returned the look with a coy smile. The mercenary wasn’t finding this amusing in the least bit, trying to break free from her grip.

“Leave her out of this.” Alvin said lowly.

“Now that I have your undivided attention.” Presa stated, releasing the other’s hair with a none too gentle shove forward, walking towards the door, “Whenever you’re done dicking around send a slyph jay to me...we have work to do.”

“And if I refuse?” Alvin asked, turning his head to look at the woman, glaring at her.

“I think you have some idea.” Presa stated without looking back. Alvin stood up abruptly from his chair, knocking the furniture over without a second thought.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Do you want to try and find out if I’m kidding?” Presa tilted her head back to look at Alvin, hands to her hips with a fake pout, “You have a lot more at stake than he ever will. Are you wanting to risk all of it just for him?”

Alvin was at a loss, turning his head to look at the other’s sleeping form then to the floor, his hands clenched in fists.

“Just think about it, Al. They don’t stay cute and innocent like that for long...eventually if you don’t throw him away, he’ll do it for you.” Presa’s heels clicked as she moved, “How long are you planning to hold this out? Do you expect to go anywhere with this relationship?”

“Since when does my love life become your business?” Alvin asked blatantly.

“What’s this?” Presa’s voice seemed to hitch, “Are you considering the thought that you actually..?!”

“Love him?” Alvin finished for Presa, who took a menacing step forward, her lips tightened. Even the word felt foreign to Alvin’s lips, he never stated the word so meaningfully about someone aside from his mother. The mercenary turned to the side, not making eye contact with the Chimeriad, “Even I can’t answer that one right now. But love,” that word again, it just felt so strange, but… “Love or lust, plain ol’ curiosity...whatever the hell it is...somethings there, and it’s not like me to not explore the option. So let me ask again. When does my love live become your business?”

“When you put your mother’s life at stake…” Presa stated lowly, she tossed her hair to the side to she could look at Alvin properly, “I would’ve hope that you didn’t forget her amongst that need in your pants.”

The older man looked over to Jude’s sleeping form again, since the intentions of why Presa was there in the first place came to light. Bribery, blackmail, marks on a hitlist, whatever cost it took for Alvin to keep his only family left in Xian Du alive, he did without question. It didn’t matter who it affected, it wasn’t like anyone else took the time to ask.

Except for Jude.

He heard the clicking of Presa’s heels as his face was turned to her, her eyes half lidded as her tail swished to and fro. The mercenary didn’t dare move, he knew what this woman was capable of in close range, not even daring to take a breath of air.

“Oh Al...you’re absolutely adorable when you look helpless.” Presa sighed, letting her gloved hands glide against the structure of Alvin’s jaw, “Do you honestly...truly think...that little boy toy of yours could handle someone like you?”

Alvin stood there in silence before smirking, “So...you are jealous.”

That turned Presa’s expression sour as she promptly slapped the mercenary across the face with the same hand that was caressing it, “You have some nerve.”

“This is coming from someone who apparently still needs me yet if she knew so much about my fall...why wasn’t she the one to come rescue me?” Alvin didn’t move to nurse his injured cheek, he could feel a bit of blood roll down his skin, damn claws.

“Oh like I would’ve been able to search for you without your little posse’ still looking. It was easier for them to do the dirty work for me.” She turned away in a huff.

“Touche...and if they didn’t find me? What then?”

“...In what regards?” She didn’t look back.

“Depends, whether your great majesty’s orders or on your own accord?”

“....” Presa embraced herself, her tail curled around her thigh, “I would’ve looked given his majesty’s orders.”

“Of course you would.” Alvin said slowly. “Am I really that bad of a guy that you wouldn’t look for in your own instincts?”

“I’d have to ask the same for you. Would you do that for me if I were in that circumstance?”

“Before knowing your answer just now….” Alvin trailed off, “Yeah...I probably would have. I always thought of you as the little girl that just needed to be taught how to be brave...to trust her own instincts rather than someone who has power over her. That she’s stronger than she leads on...but now I’m not so sure...”

“Liar…”

“Call me what you want...whatever helps you sleep at night.” Alvin replied in the same tone.

“So whatever happened to you not letting yourself get attached to your work?” Presa snapped, “Did you forget about that? Mercenaries aren’t supposed to let themselves-”

“Get attached to the client or mission.” Alvin said as if he said it a hundred times. Its what's kept him alive for years when he could actually make sense of what his work was going to cut out for him. He wasn’t there to be attached, he wasn’t there to fall in love.

He was there to get his mother home. It was what he swore to the day he realized that while the grass was greener on Reiza Maxia, it sure didn’t help his cause.

And yet here he was. Ironically he was in the same room with the one who helped him when he first entered this world...and the one who’s reached out to him the most in ways he never thought that someone could force themselves in…and to force such an impact on his life.  

“And this isn’t the same thing?!” The woman’s body tensed where she stood before she continued to storm off, “Remember what we talked about Al. That’s not changing, and neither should your little habits if you know what’s good for you!”

She went out the door with a slam, in an instant it was like air breached into the young doctor’s lungs, Jude lurching forward to a sitting position and clutching his chest as if he suffered a heart attack. Alvin didn’t move at first, his eyes boring into the door until he heard the sound of Jude coughing behind him like he almost drowned.

“A...Alvin…?”

The mercenary turned his head and approached the other, grasping his free hand, “I’m right here...it’s okay...you collapsed earlier during my rehab session…”

“W...what?...Why do I feel so...dizzy?” Jude asked weakly as Alvin gently pushed him back on the bed.

“Probably because you need to rest more...you had a fever...it sounds like your mana lobes aren’t doing so hot either...just rest.”

“But your reha-”

“I’ll be fine for a day or two...I’m sure Prinn could substitute or something until you recover…” Alvin replied with a sigh, it would give him enough time to think-

“Alvin...did...did something happen?” Jude asked, “Your voice seems tense…”

The mercenary looked at the doctor who had his eyes closed, his chest heaving for air. Alvin leaned forward and kissed Jude’s forehead softly, a sad smile touched his face.

“I’m fine..and if you don’t believe me...I’ll be fine once you’re better...just get some rest.”

I just can’t seem to hide anything from you, can I kid?

“Alvin…” Jude called again his small hand squeezing the mercenary’s.

“Yes?”

“Something did happen…..didn’t it?”

The mercenary swallowed slightly, “.......When you passed out like that, I...kind of freaked out...it was all sudden...thankfully Prinn was here to help me get you stable again.”

Wasn’t completely a lie...but last thing Jude needed to know was of Alvin’s visitor.

“That was all…?” Jude asked quietly, as his breathing pattern finally slowed down for the boy to take air silently. Alvin couldn’t help but sigh mentally at the boy’s insistent need to know what was going on. He lowered himself to kiss the other this time the youth didn’t fight back. When they parted, the older male exhaled softly.

“That was all.” He repeated.

“...Okay…” Jude replied reluctantly, his head turned to Alvin’s direction before his eyes opened, squinting a little, “Alvin?...You’re not...leaving are you?”

“Why would I? You put up with me this long.” Alvin chuckled. Jude frowned at the other’s words, squeezing the other’s hand rather tightly. Alvin returned the grip back, “Jude...I’m not going anywhere, I couldn’t even if I tried…”

And he meant those words.

\--

As promised while Jude recovered for the next two days, Prinn took responsibility for Alvin’s rehab, her methods were more strict at most, but it definitely got the mercenary’s joints working, it was like Jude’s methods were the training wheels and Prinn’s was the straining bootcamp.

“Just one more…” Prinn stated as Alvin was holding onto a bar and pulling his weight up, once his chin reached past the bar point he let his body jerk back, immediately he regretted and landed hard on his rear, which he took the time to flop back on the matted floor. He stared up at the ceiling, panting to get his heart rate back to normal.

“Well done…”The nurse complimented as she held a water bottle over for the mercenary to see. Alvin took it gratefully, sitting up to take a couple good gulps of the beverage before pouring some over his face and head.

“It’s good to see that you’re almost doing normal activities a man your age is capable of doing, you should be out of rehab in no time.” Prinn replied as she took notes of their progress. The mercenary didn’t have the ability to answer, so the nurse took that opportunity to continue, “What will determine that is a physical to finalize that your body has fully recovered, has Jude gone over this with you?”

“Mmhmm..” Alvin replied as he took another drink, putting the empty bottle to the side of him once he was finished, looking over at Prinn who was looking away from her notes and at the patient, “Yeah?”

“N...Nothing. I can see why Jude has taken a liking to you.”

Alvin gave the woman a surprised look before chuckling softly, “Ah...I guess Jude wasn’t kidding when he said we caught the attention of all the nurses.”

“You certainly have, do you realize what you are doing?” Prinn asked with conviction.

The mercenary didn’t answer at first, leaning back on his elbows to stare at the ceiling above him, “I’m fully aware…”

“You’re seducing him into feelings he’s probably never experienced with anyone else, introducing him into adult like situations that could put a mark in his future.” Prinn’s voice hardened, “Forgive me for being frank, but what you are doing is….is…”

“Is what?” Alvin asked, his own tone becoming evident, but didn’t move from his spot. Prinn fiddled with the pen and clipboard on her lap, clutching the writing utensil in both hands.

“Is not normal...it’s not normal for a kid his age.”

“That kid has seen things that a normal teenager shouldn’t see…he’s seen the buildings of hatred, betrayal, of war...even an assassination that unfolded right in front of him...he’s grown up a lot faster than you think.” Alvin stated rather calmly.

Prinn gripped the pen tighter, “But that doesn’t give you the right to do this-”

“Right? The right?” Alvin asked before sitting up, “Humans don’t give rights to humans because they want to...humans give rights because they know how cruel humanity can be if rights aren’t set, if morality doesn’t protect those who can’t handle the harsh reality.”

The words startled the nurse as Alvin picked up the empty bottle again, holding in the silence for a while longer before asking, “Think back...Have you lost something that you couldn’t get back? Anything at all.”

“....Yes-”

“Did someone take it from you?” Alvin asked before Prinn could finish.

“...Yes…”

“Did they ever mean to take it from you? Did you ever expect someone to take that away from you?”  
  
“This doesn’t help your case-”

“Answer the question.” Alvin commanded simply.

“....I don’t know if I can answer that.” Prinn admitted.

“I understand...it’s none of my business…” Alvin replied, squinting a bit at the trash can that was several yards away from him, “I’ll let you in on a little something about me. I did have something taken from me….did they ever mean to take it from me or expected someone to take it away from me?....I was too young to even know….” He smiled bitterly, but Prinn couldn’t see, “Too young to even realize what was going on in front of me until it was too late.”

He chucked the empty bottle to the trashcan, the bottle skid across the edge before falling into the bin with a small crinkle of the plastic liner.

“Does that mean...you’ll take his feelings into consideration?”

“I maybe forward...charismatic, conniving... whatever the hell you wanna call it. I’m called the Mercenary with a Golden Heart for a reason...even if the colors faded over the years…”

Prinn didn’t know how to respond to that as Alvin used his hands to push himself up. The mercenary didn’t turn around to look at Prinn, it was if he knew...he knew already how unconvinced or...how reluctant she was in trusting him with Jude.

“I maybe buttering him up...but in the end of the day...it’s going to be him that makes the decision on where he wants to go from here. All I can do is try to convince him to trust me…”

“Would that be false trust…?” Prinn asked slowly.

Alvin lifted his head, as if debating on his words as his hands went to his head in his usual carefree self, even though he winced since his arms still felt like jello from the pull ups, “Honestly…with the way things are going now...I can’t even answer that….but...for his sake...I hope it’s not.”

Prinn leaned back in her seat as Alvin rotated looking at the nurse questioningly, “So...is my session over?”

“Ah...yes it is.” Prinn replied, clearing her throat, “You’re free for the rest of the day. I think Jude should feel better by tomorrow to assist you with your last days of rehab.”

“...Thank you, Prinn.”

The nurse didn’t know how to respond to the calm, monotone that the mercenary stated his gratitude in. All she could do was nod as the man walked past her, turning to the direction of the dorms as she looked at the various rehab notes that she scribbled down during the past two days, comparing it to the neat notes that Jude made at the beginning of Alvin’s rehab. A normal patient in Reize Maxia would be able to recover from these injuries within a couple days max...then again, the man’s mana lobes...were weak...or just...not there at all...she couldn’t really pin point it.

But one things for sure...she knew the man knew exactly what he was doing…

All she could do was hope….hope for the best...for Jude’s sake.

\--

Alvin carefully walked into the dorm, being slow when closing the door behind him. He turned his head to see Jude’s bedroom down the hall, the door wide open. He stepped out of the slippers he had on and strode in silently, in case the young doctor was still asleep.

“Alvin?” Jude’s voice made the mercenary straighten up, seeing the boy in bed with his eyes half lidded.

“Hey, couldn’t sleep?” Alvin asked casually as he sat on the side of the bed that Jude wasn’t occupying.

“Was waiting for you to come back from rehab.” Jude said quietly, before perking up a little, “How did it go today? I know you said that it was a bit of an adjustment to get used to Prinn’s methods.”

“Ah...a little better, still sore as all hell.” Alvin commented with a soft laugh, which made Jude laugh as well. Alvin shot a playful look, “What’s this? Is the doctor making fun of his patient’s pain, how dare you!”

“No it’s not that!” Jude laughed a little more.

“Uh huh...well Prinn said that I’m almost ready to leave rehab so there.” Alvin crossed his arms, feigning a bit pout, “I’m upset that you doubted me.”

“Oh stop it.” Jude lightly reached out and nudged Alvin’s arm.

“Aw he hit me again, I’m suing.”

“Alvin!”

“What?” The mercenary started breaking from his facade and started laughing, “you make this too easy to pick on you, ya know that?”

“Do you have to do it every time?” Jude asked.

“If I get the same reaction each time where it makes you laugh, then I probably will.” Alvin teased. Jude hid a little bit under the covers to hide his blush.

“You’re such a bully.”

“Because I make you laugh?” Alvin raised an eyebrow.

“And get all butt hurt about the littlest things.”

“Butt hurt?!” Alvin exclaimed with a grin as Jude laughed again, “I’ll have you know that I have other things hurting and it’s certainly not my ass!”

“G-Good to know.” Jude flopped his head back on the pillow to catch his breath. Alvin smiled a bit.

“I’m relieved though...that you’re okay...I figured you’d be bored to tears up here.”

“It’s not your fault...I got a fever for no reason.” Jude replied scratching the back of his neck. The mercenary decided to ignore that comment with without hesitation.

“Well, did you eat something? I think Prinn said she left some luncheon stuff from some nurse’s birthday party.” Alvin stated. Jude shook his head.

“I’m not all that hungry right now.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah...just you being here is fine.” Jude replied shyly, his eyes shifted to the side as he continued, “I’m sure you’re tired...you...you can rest here...if you want to….” He then quickly added with a red face, “J-Just at least keep some underwear on?”

Alvin was quiet for a moment before a smile touched his face, “Sure...I can at least do that.”

“At least?” Jude asked with a quirked eyebrow, but that didn’t make the blush on his face go away, “I’m...I’m still getting used to all this…”

“I know...have you made up your mind yet?” Alvin asked carefully as he turned away to pull off his shirt. Jude didn’t answer for a moment since he was rather distracted at the broad figure before him, shirtless, seeing the olive skin with some light scars here and there from years of being a mercenary took it’s toll on the man’s body.

Alvin looked over his shoulder, which made Jude find the sheets rather interesting all of a sudden, “Well you have time...just...not that much of it….” He shifted to remove his slacks, he could feel the younger male’s eyes on him, but didn’t make any note to point that out...he didn’t want the other to be afraid of him or to be shy about each other.

“I know...thank you for understanding.” Jude replied awkwardly, hiding under the covers again.

Once Alvin had his slacks removed and forgotten on the floor he slid under the covers with Jude, who in turn shyly shifted to his side so he could look at the other, his hand brushing at Alvin’s upper arm but pulled away as if afraid to cross any boundaries.

“I know I took my clothes off, but it’s still me.” Alvin commented casually, but he still had a teasing grin on his face when he said it. The younger male gave Alvin a look before exhaling slowly.

“Can you blame me for being uncomfortable?”

“You did just say that I could sleep here next to you, as long as I kept my underwear on.” Alvin repeated Jude’s exact words.

“You’re going to hold me to that aren’t you?” Jude raised an eyebrow. The mercenary put his hands to the back of his head, wincing his eyes shut.

“I could go ahead and go back to the couch bed, I suppose.” Alvin said rather dramatically. The younger male rolled his eyes, still reluctant, but his hand reached out, hovering an inch or so away from Alvin’s skin. The mercenary opened his eyes to see Jude hesitating, completely uncertain of himself initiating any kind of touch.

“Y...you don’t have to, okay? You’re fine where you’re at.” Jude replied.

“But are you okay where you are at?” Alvin pressed.

“Huh?” The younger pulled his hand away again.

“W...What I mean to say is…” Alvin shifted a little on his side, staring up at the ceiling, “Is...is this okay, where I’m almost naked in the same bed with you and potentially touching you in a...romantic manner….okay with you?”

When the older man dumbed it down like that Jude sat up a little, he was wearing a simple t-shirt and boxers from what Alvin could see, but soon as his eyes gathered that information his eyes went back to Jude’s. The younger male was also just seeing the other’s bare chest, leading down until the covers didn’t permit him to look down any further before looking back up.

“But...you haven’t….touched me in a romantic manner today...have you?” Jude questioned slowly.

Alvin could only shake his head to respond to Jude’s question. This action surprised Jude a little….the previous days before his fever incident, Alvin was all about touching him in a romantic manner...it was always Alvin initiating some form of physical contact with him, always reaching out to him. Then it started to sink into Jude a little...and the realization bothered him.

Never..even before they started all of this had he ever reached out to Alvin in a physical manner.

He would always verbally reach out to mentally reach out to the older man, who seemingly took the notion in his own special way, he always seemed to return the favor with the pat on the back, ruffling his hair or his signature move of slinging his arm over his thin shoulders.

Always...always touching him…

Why...the sudden change? He wanted to ask that, but the words refused to come out...he didn’t want to sound dependant on Alvin’s touch, it wasn’t like he needed that touch to be reassured of anything...at least not now. Most of the time he felt the other’s touches were annoying and invasive. This sudden change would’ve been okay with him...if it wasn’t so unlike Alvin…

If it wasn’t so….uncomfortable. What was...what was he supposed to do?

After a while Alvin rolled his head to look at Jude, seeing the other was in a debate with himself, “Hey...I’m not mad or anything okay? Just...feel like I’m already invading your space enough.”

Even how Alvin stated that was unsettling for Jude...to the point he shifted his body so he was sitting with his legs crossed and his hands on his on his lap, his eyes concentrating on the mercenary who didn’t move a muscle, simply observing Jude’s movements.

“You okay, kid?”

“.....I don’t think I am….okay with this.”

“...Not okay with what?”

“With...you not..touching me.” Jude replied honestly and quickly followed, “Ah..I didn’t mean for it to come out like that! I just...it’s weird to see you so...distant like this. Sure you’re not mad, but it’s like you’re not yourself...like...like something’s holding you back…”

One of Alvin’s arms shifted to rub at his face a little, the stoic look seemed to crack a little as he smiled, of course….

He just couldn’t hide anything from this kid could he?

“Alvin…?” Jude called when the mercenary didn’t say anything for a good while, it was making the young doctor nervous.

“So...what do you want me to do, Jude…” Alvin kept a hand over his eyes, “what do you want me to do…”

The doctor couldn’t tell how the other reacted to what he was saying, it was rather unsettling how the mercenary didn’t ask in a questioning manner...it was more of Alvin’s sarcastic tone. A unsettling burning sensation seemed to swell in Jude’s chest, making his body tense up.

“...Quit mocking me, Alvin.” Jude said finally.

Alvin slowly slid his hand down, frowning a little, “What are you-”

Jude’s hands clenched to fists, “I said quit mocking me...why are you acting like this?! This isn’t like you!”

“I’m perfectly myself, I’m not acting out anything.” Alvin replied carefully, remaining in the same position.  Jude sat there still tense from these words that the mercenary gave to him. No, this wasn’t...this wasn’t Alvin at all…

“You’re lying…” Jude said, glaring accusingly at the other, boring his eyes at the other, “Is it not going as you were hoping for it to go? Is that why you’re acting so distant?”

“W-What?” Alvin lowered his hands to sit up, to actually see the other looking rather furious, “No! No that’s not it at all!”

“Then what is it?” Jude demanded, his clenched fists finding the sheets beneath him, as if holding himself back.

Alvin was silent for a moment before exhaling sharply, “You’re really starting to be confuse the hell out of me, first you want to try this out, then you’re not comfortable with me touching you and now you’re getting worked up because I’m not, make up your bloody Efreet mind!”

“...” Jude looked to the side, the other did have a point. He was sending mixed signals again, while Alvin was good at reading people...he wasn’t a mind reader.

“Look, the past couple days I’ve just...wanted to make sure you’re feeling better….” Alvin trailed off, unsure if that was what he wanted to say before he continued, “I didn’t know if it would’ve been welcomed with the condition you were in….”

The mercenary looked up at the boy, seeing him shrinking back a little as if afraid. He sighed, reaching out, grasping the other’s arms, the boy was as stiff as a board enough, the other’s touch made him act like he was electrocuted, his eyes snapping open as he stared up at Alvin, his pupils completely dilated.

Alvin’s grip loosened, but he didn’t move his hands away, “Jude...you have to tell me what you want...otherwise I’m not going to pursue it...the last...the last thing I want…”

What was the last thing he wanted?

He didn’t want to hurt him right?

He didn’t want to lie to the kid…  
  
He didn’t want to lead him on to something he couldn’t guarantee…

He didn’t….he didn’t want to lose out on this opportunity…

Who the hell was he kidding? He was Alfred Vint Svent, the mercenary with a golden heart, the man that could possibly do no wrong at least in his mind, where he never had to second guess himself, he never had to answer to anyone or anything. If he wanted something he had to get it himself and take it for himself, only for himself.

Because no one else…

No one would…

“Alvin?”

The mercenary blinked a couple times before looking back at Jude, he must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts because the young doctor was trembling in his grip, “....the last thing I want...is for you to regret your decision….”

Wait….that wasn’t...that wasn’t…

“...Alvin…” Jude trailed off, still shivering but his eyes seemed to not hold that anxiety. Alvin didn’t know what to do...that wasn’t what he meant to say…that wasn’t what….

The younger male closed his eyes, sulking forward, the only support he had was Alvin’s grip on his arms, he felt like jello in Alvin’s hold. The mercenary shook Jude a little, “H-Hey….are you okay?”

Jude slowly looked up again, his hand was clutching at his chest, “I’m scared Alvin, I don’t know if…”

“If…?” Alvin trailed off.

“If I can do this…” He said finally, the words he uttered exposing him for the youth he really was, not the mature adult he tried so hard to make himself to be. The older male stared at the other, remembering what he said when he first met the young doctor.

Hope you’re sturdier than you look

He never really imagined how ironic that statement would ever be about Jude…

“Well….do you want to do this…?” Alvin asked slowly, “You’re aware of what happens...for the most part…”

“Ah...I ..I do want…...to.” Jude said with such hesitance, but it didn’t fully convince Alvin that much.

“How much do you want it….how bad do you want it?”Alvin couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, anyone who had a normal perverted mind would’ve already thought that he was verbally beating Jude to submission to lead to the real thing, but his tone of voice was so straightlaced...it didn’t seem to phase the younger male.

“....I can’t….I can’t get rid of our...um..first encounter out of my head…” Jude whimpered, Alvin thought back to it, it was rather eye opening for the teen, it was probably his first sexual contact from another person, rather period…

“And I just…” The younger male tried to continue, just staring at his lap, “I can’t stop thinking about it...and whenever I did...either...either my body thought of it for me or...or you would remind me. Not just your advances either...just…” He laughed at himself, as if not believing his own words, “just looking at you is a blatant reminder of it..”

Alvin couldn’t help but smile sadly himself, to think how much he really did...affect the teen with his actions, he could’ve sworn he was staring at himself all those years ago, unsure of his own skin, just trying to shape himself to become something….someone accepting in the eyes of humanity...well, that didn’t pan out so well now did it? Strange how life works sometimes…

“I’m just so used to going for...you know...what I want...but I’ve never been so scared of something my entire life like this….” Jude’s voice almost trembled at his last words,  looking up at Alvin.

“Is this normal…? To be afraid?”

“Of course it is…” Alvin replied with the same tone, not moving, just observing the youth as he fought a mental war with himself, tilting his head to the side with his eyes flickering and closing, “Did you really expect this to be something that could be determined like it’s black and white?”

“Well there’s wishful thinking...but...no I didn’t..” Jude tilted his head up to look at the mercenary with a small frown.

“It’s probably best you don’t think of it as black or white...Besides….you and I aren’t all in terms of right or wrong.”

Jude straightened up completely, opening his mouth to say something to counter that statement, but he couldn’t find anything to argue back, the mercenary had a point, even though he did seem to stick to the side of righteousness….he couldn’t flat out say that his mind was always in the right…

“I know what you’re thinking though…” Alvin said before trailing off, staring eye to eye with Jude, the teen wanted to open his mouth again to ask him what that was, but it seemed like the mercenary already knew he was going to ask, “Everyone thinks I’m in the wrong...that I’m a bad influence...even you.”

“Alvin I-”

“It’s fine.” Alvin closed his eyes, “I’m not exactly ‘role model’ material you know...never expected one of my clients to be a teenager who just so happens to be in midst of Maxwell’s path to completing the unthinkable that just so happens to have a war laced around it. Let alone being a participant in it….”

“But you expected to be on both sides of it?” Jude said rather quickly before covering his mouth. Alvin didn’t even look fazed at the comment.

“Probably…now that I think back, I don’t know how everything escalated to this...I’ve slept since then.” Alvin reached out, gently sliding his fingers around the top of Jude’s hand that was concealing his lips, “I did what I thought was right….was it? Probably not...Can I change the hands of time?...No. I can’t.”

Jude felt his hand being pulled down from his lips, feeling the strong fingers grip the side of his hand, sliding over his palm, reluctant.

“But this...is who I am, Jude...I’m a mercenary. I’m not here to do what’s right or what’s wrong...I came in a time of someone’s need in exchange for monetary value...but...somehow I just found myself coming right back to you…” He laughed sadly again, his head rolling to one shoulder before shaking back and forth slightly, “And in the end...it’s like I needed you more than you needed me…”

“...Alvin…” Jude was taken back by the other’s words, he felt bad what he said earlier, but at the same time...it needed to be said…

“I just want to let you know...that...you’re not just accepting a part of me...you’re accepting...me as a whole...not just the good looking parts...the downright ugly as well...and know that no matter what...I’ll do the same…because as the saying goes…”

“...No one deserves your best if they can’t handle...your worst…” Jude finished.

“And quite frankly, you’ve seen me at my worst more times than I can count…” Alvin sighed softly, “So… please Jude….let me be able to show you my best…”

“So….even after this…” Jude trailed off, his eyes lowered a bit.

Was he going to have to lie again? Was there a chance he had to go to the other side to save his mother? It always seemed like fate made it convenient for him to choose one or the other where both things meant the world to him. And if Jude really does plan on going forth with this...that’s another thing he has to weigh on his scales of morality.

Could he really do that?

“....I don’t know.” Alvin said finally, “....I honestly…” He coughed at the irony of that word, sighing, “I couldn’t tell you really…”

“How do I know then…?” Jude asked, lifting his head once more, “How will I know to trust you in the future?”

Alvin gazed back into those amber eyes before an exhale escaped from his nostrils. He pressed his lips together in thought before replying, “You’ve gone this far trusting me. Until then…”

“But it can’t keep on going like this, Alvin you know that! You promised that you wouldn’t do this if I helped you!” Jude spoke up, his tone rather hurt. The mercenary didn’t look away, no matter how painful it was to see the other tear up, tremble in his grip.

“I’m sorry…”

“Do you really mean that?” Jude asked suspiciously, earning a glare from Alvin.

“You can take it or leave it.”

Jude pulled back from the other’s grip, scowling as he pushed Alvin hard into the bed, the mercenary grunted, his hands moving to defend himself, but Jude caught them, both their hands tightly gripping each other to the point they threatened to break each other’s bones.

“Do you have to be this stubborn all the time?” Jude asked, his black hair slightly covering his face as he looked down at the other. Alvin didn’t move, but he still kept an iron grip on Jude’s hands, his brown eyes daring the other to make a move.

“Oh, but I thought you liked me when I’m stubborn.” His tone seemed to sound like he was joking, but the grovel in his voice showed that he was getting a little annoyed, not appreciating the push since his body was still sore from the rehab.

Jude narrowed his eyes a bit, but didn’t say anything, it was like he felt a burst of anger from the other’s attitude towards their bond of trust, he seriously didn’t understand, what was the point of lying all the time? Was there really a reason to hold this information from him? Didn’t Alvin see he was worried about him? That he was reaching out to him? That it was okay for him to tell the truth?

“So what are you going to do now? I’m not going anywhere.” Alvin asked, staring up at the boy. It sank in for Jude that he had the mercenary in a rather precarious position, his knees on either side of Alvin’s hips, his body hunched over the other’s almost nude body, their heads so close that they could feel each other’s hasty breaths.

The young doctor managed to swallow nervously, he could feel his heartbeat pound in his ears, even though most of his body wasn’t even remotely touching the older man, he could feel the other’s warmth radiate toward him, the grip of the other’s hand and the iron stare the mercenary gave him...seemed make him realize, that despite him being a recovering patient, he could still overcome Jude without even a moment’s hesitation.

But the younger male stood his ground, tightening his grip on the other’s hands, his eyes falling to a close, “I’m not just someone you can lie to at your leisure, Alvin.”

“You honestly believe it’s at my leisure?”

Jude opened his eyes again to see Alvin glaring back up at him.

“Maybe at my best interest...but never has it ever been at my leisure.” Alvin replied slowly, his voice so groveled that Jude almost had to lean down lower to even remotely hear him.

“...Alvin the only person that can even begin to change you is you.” Jude replied, feeling their hands tremble against each other from the grip, he could feel his fingers going numb at this point. The younger male sulked forward until his lips overlayed Alvin’s, startling the mercenary that his grip on their hands slack and Jude’s hands push his hands down on the mattress completely. The doctor didn’t exactly know the functions of kissing too much, but he knew enough to get by, letting his tongue drag itself across the mercenary’s bottom lip, which was immediately welcomed.

At first the mercenary responded only out of sheer politeness, he did want the younger with every fiber of his being...but holy Maxwell was it going to complicate a few things, the more Alvin thought about it, the more he deepened the kiss, the more he had the effort to pry his hands away to hold onto the younger male and the even bigger effort to push all those those complications aside. Fuck it.

Fuck everything.

Just for once...Just for once could he have something that didn’t require him messing up someone’s life? For once feel at least a bit of passion without feeling even the slightest need to watch his back? He felt Jude pull away from the kiss so they could stare eye to eye before locking lips again. There was no telling if he could have it but damn it he was going to fucking try.

Jude pulled away again, a bit breathless and fidgeting in Alvin’s lap, making the other’s slacks two sizes too small for him, “Alvin...”

Alvin stared up at Jude, waiting for him to apologize and get off him, probably excuse himself from the room and make a beeline for the door or the bathroom, depending if he needed to beat one out or not. But he didn’t...he stayed right where he was. While Jude had his actual age tendencies of being confused on what he wanted, he faced his wants and fears like an adult.

Then again the teen acted more like an adult with his mind alone than what Alvin could probably do with his entire body, but who was really looking?

Jude tried to talk again, his chest drawing breath after agonizingly slow breath, his body shaking like a leaf, “The only one that can change you...is you...but I can...I can help you with that….you don’t have to do this alone...because I do….I do want to see the best of you….if you allow me of course…”

The mercenary couldn’t move, just holding on to each word Jude said, did he really mean that…? He...he wanted to see him through?...Even if that risked himself? For once in his life he actually...felt that unsettling twist in his chest, to the point where he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He lost his nerve and sulked back into the bed.

“I…”

“Alvin…” Jude sighed, brushing his hand past Alvin’s bangs, “Please...I won’t give up on you...if you don’t give up on me…”

The sentence that Jude uttered seemed innocent enough, but it only harbored more worry and guilt that had no end in sight. Not even Jude knew how impossible this relationship was now that Alvin really put his mind to all of this.

But did he have the balls to tell Jude?

...More or less did he want to tell Jude?

...He didn’t want to give up on this one chance...this one bit of hope that he could find a little piece of heaven...that he could indeed find happiness.

Even if the possibility seemed so far to be real.

“Alvin?...Did I…” Jude pulled his hand away since he was losing his nerve, but Alvin’s hand reached out and caught it.

“Sorry...just...a bit lost in thought on what you said...If you’re willing to not give up on me...I won’t give up on you…”

“Are you just repeating me or-”

“No...I mean it.” Alvin stated firmly, his other hand reaching up and cupping Jude’s face, “I want to believe that this can work...just as much as you do.”

Jude’s eyes softened as he clung desperately to Alvin’s hand, “You’re shaking…”

The mercenary didn’t realize it until the younger male pointed it out, swallowing the knot in his throat, “I guess you’re right…”

“You’re afraid too?”

Alvin didn’t say anything for a while, but he nodded to Jude’s question. He wasn’t sure if they were both afraid of the same things….but the thought that the feeling was mutual was enough for the young doctor as he locked lips with the mercenary again. As much as Alvin wanted to correct him, he didn’t know what difference it would make.

Both of them were afraid for their own reasons.

It was like they mutually agreed they didn’t want to think about it, talk about it, nothing. Just focusing on one thing and one thing alone: Each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, horrible cliff hanger, I know, I'm sorry. I'm a big bitch and I should go die in a fire or something. 
> 
> Anygay, Please hold out for me a little longer as I post the final part. Hopefully it won't take me another......two and half months to post it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you're all saying 'it's about fucking time', well...better late than never XD enjoy!

_They laid there for what seemed to be eternity for them, both naked, sweaty, breathless...neither of them spoke a word, just letting the afterglow sink in for them both. It felt surreal to Jude, staring up at the ceiling as Alvin hovered over him, their stomach's heaving together slightly, skin brushing hot skin._

**"You guys are my ticket home back to Elympios. All I have to do is kill you off."**

_Jude managed to pull the mercenary closer as if that would help him ease his rapid breath, feeling that comfortable weight over his small frame felt welcoming, the warmth of Alvin's body, his fleeting heartbeat, the pulse of the other's length inside of him. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming this up or not…._

**"After all...anyone who learns about the schism...will have to die..It is my mission"**

_The young doctor didn't want to speak in fear of breaking this eternal bliss between them, he could feel Alvin's lips shakily trail messy kisses from his shoulder that was already bruised up from the bite marks of shapes and sizes up to his collar bone, this only made Jude sink more into the comfort of the mattress, his senses heightened, every subtle touch from the older man, the slight bitter taste of Alvin's saliva, the scent of sweat, semen and Alvin's cologne seemed to make it difficult to breathe, when his eyes opened he could see the outline of Alvin's body shift so they were looking back eye to eye._

**"You always try to go with the flow….you really piss me off, you know!"**

_Alvin looked like he wanted to say something to the younger male, but he was too mesmerized at the view before him to utter a single word, his hand lazily reaching over to move Jude's black bangs that were damp from his sweat to the side so he could peer more into his amber eyes, that even in the dark he could see their gentle glow._

**"Get up! We have to get out of here! You've got to listen to me, Jude! Remember Milla's mission! She sacrificed her life for it! Now get up!"**

_The only thing that Jude could do was reach up again to the mercenary, cupping his face into his small hands, lifting his head up just enough to be in a lip lock with the other, nothing rushed or feverish, just a tender moment between them. The only thing that could be heard was the shifting of their movements on the sheets and their conjoined heartbeat that finally settled from their laborious adventure._

**"I won't let you hurt him! I won't let you do this!"**

_It all felt like a dream that neither of them wanted to wake up from._

**"We're just plain old human beings. We can't be like her!"**

_It felt...too good to be true...but here they were, alone in Jude's dorm room in each other's company._

**"LEIA!"**

_But like all dreams...they have to wake up sometime._

_==_

All Jude could do was just send punch after punch at Alvin's face seemed to be the one place he could set his frustrations out on without any thought coming through his mind. Without any regard to what he was throwing his punches into. When the younger male finally opened his eyes from his blind rage when he swung down with all his might, all he could see was the man that turned his back on them, the man that hurt Leia…

The man that hurt him.

He swung again, but the punch didn't even graze on the mercenary's skin, he tried again, but there was no effort behind it, nudging Alvin's face to look up at him, his cheeks red and puffy from the strikes, Jude could've sworn that Alvin would be able to take the opportunity to turn the tables, but...he didn't. He just laid there, eagle spread, his brown eyes that were light and carefree as the rest of him...were dull...lost…

"Damn it.." Alvin managed to utter, which cut through the young doctor's consciousness like a knife, his arms hung limp at his sides .Why...why were they doing this? Did Milla's death really get to their heads this much? How much more was it going to take? What else were they supposed to do? Question after question after bloody question just lingered in Jude's mind to the point he wanted to scream and shout for answers, but nothing….nothing came to mind….

Just like everything else they have striven so hard for….how could nothing just be the end result?

Nothing...nothing.. _.Nothing._

"Hey…." Alvin's voice interrupted Jude's thoughts again, his voice cracked, "Just go ahead and kill me already…"

The young doctor's body flinched, the words seemed to repeat over and over again. Kill. Death. Loss. He wanted him to lose another person that had made an impact on his life? He wanted him to add another tally...another tombstone on the list? How...how could he…? How dare he…

And yet here he was, he was asking for the same thing...but he was too petrified….too fucking pissed off to care that he was just as in the wrong as Alvin was.

"Kill you? How can you even say that to me?!" Jude puts his hands to Alvin's chest, looking at the man with tears threatening to fall as his voice cracked, "Milla saved your rotten life! Don't be so eager to just throw it away! Don't you get it? Milla died because she wanted us to live! She didn't die so that we would end up- end up like this…"

Was death really the answer to all this? Was that going to solve their problems? Maybe solve their own personal suffering...but it wasn't going to solve the world's decline...it wasn't going to save Milla...no one was going to remember Milla except for them…

"Well then...what the hell should we be doing?!" Alvin snapped, putting a bit of struggle under Jude, but it was pointless, he had no more strength, "I'm not Milla! I can't live like her! I don't have a mission to fulfill!"

That's right...they didn't have a mission...they didn't have their lives already set out for them, their destinies planned out for them before they were even born….even if it was all made up...even if it was some story that they had to live to believe in.

In frustration Jude yanked Alvin up to sitting position, his hands tightly grabbing fistfuls of Alvin's shirt, "She's not here to hold our hands have to think for ourselves now."

"Think for ourselves how?!" Alvin snapped, trying to jerk away from Jude's grip, but even though the young doctor felt like he had no strength left in him, he kept the other up.

They had an advantage…..they had the advantage that Milla didn't…

Their destinies were not premeditated...at least knowing for them...they couldn't just allow one event...no matter how much it hurt...no matter how painful it was to witness….to stop them from what they should be doing….

"No one's going to make our decisions for us anymore!" Jude shouted back before his head sank, the realization to his words hit him harder than any strike Alvin made at him,"And no one...no one will take responsibility for our actions ever again!"

The mercenary managed to make a scoffed noise, but it was weak, as if he didn't believe his own thoughts in his head, he swayed a little when Jude's grip released him as he stood up on his own feet. The teen struggled to remain standing, but he stayed firm, even if it looked like a brisk wind could knock him over.

"Even if Milla's mission was all a lie…" Jude hung his head back with closed eyes, as if he had to pause for himself...to listen to himself, "The truth is, she was willing to put her life on the line to fulfill it ." He looked back down at the mercenary as if trying to reach out to him verbally, "It's not a matter if you can or can't. It's a matter if you do or don't."

The mercenary's aggression fell from his face as his eyes softened, his volume almost to a bare minimum as he spoke, "Jude, you…"

Jude had to think to himself for a moment again at his words before nodding again with a smile that he thought was gone for ages, "Why it take me this long to figure out what Milla was trying to tell us?" His expression brightened up even more with potential hope that maybe….just maybe there was an answer out there...they just had to think it through, "Let's get moving, Alvin."

The mercenary sat there staring up at Jude in disbelief before his expression changed to confusion. How? How could the kid manage to find a reason to smile after all this? He lost everything just as much as he did...maybe more...how...how could he? It just didn't make any sense…

Alvin grunted slightly as he struggled with the last bit of strength he had to get up and move past the young doctor, every step he took he was limping away. Jude didn't move to follow after him, but watched him leave, his face changing back to being rather stoic before directing his attention to Leia's barely breathing body.

Once Jude finished bandaging Leia up he decided to take a breath of fresh air outside the shed, he just didn't feel like sitting still with his thoughts, at least there would be some scenery to look around at if he did. He had to think of the next step of where to go now that he accepted that there was a hopeful chance...he just needed to seek for the answers. There had to be a spirit world somewhere right? Where both Muzet and Milla would be from….they had to come from somewhere ...it was the only thing that made sense at this point.

It was dark, so it was a little tricky for the doctor to see his surroundings, but the overwhelming scent of the napple trees told him where he was, how close he was to where him and Alvin fought...how close he was to brushing death...and embracing it…

He stopped when he felt something nudge his foot, seeing the scattered and broken wooden planks that broke when him and Leia fell from the high tops. He lifted his head to see the broken bridge, trailing his eyes across it to see a familiar brown coat. Jude hesitated for a moment...but went up anyway.

He had difficulties climbing up but by the time he got there, his focus was on the mercenary's back, who had his head sulked down, slightly slumped on his side, clutching his body as if trying his best to comfort it, but it did little to no good. He didn't look up, but he spoke softly, "Come to finish me off?"

"...You're still talking like that…" Jude sighed as he took a couple steps forward, but kept his distance, rather wary of Alvin's state of mind.

"Can you blame me? I lost everything, I can't go back home, I turned my back on the people that actually gave a fuck about me even if it was just a little...and I turned my back on you…."

"Alvin….I can't say I was any better earlier….I was knocking on death's door just waiting for it to swallow me whole..."

"Milla meant a lot to both of us..." Alvin interrupted, still clutching on onto onto his abdomen, "She was more than a friend...a saving grace, a force to be reckoned with...she was Maxwell to us. Even...even if it is a lie...hell, if no one knew better, I'd say I wrote the book on lying."

Jude exhaled sharply to suppress his laughter, his eyes focusing on the mercenary's figure hunched in his spot, "You're still hurt..."

"Had me running for my gald in in that fight..." Alvin didn't bother hiding it, "But...it's probably best if I'm like this..."

"Why?"

"Muzet sent me to kill you...remember?"

Jude grimaced to the other's statement, "Do you intend to..?"

"I don't intend on succeeding that mission." Alvin mumbled, "I'd rather die."

Jude stood there for a moment before sulking to his knees, his body reminding him that he fought the battle of his life, he battled many things, many people before...but nothing as harsh...as personal….as Alvin.

His eyes looked at his surroundings before setting sights on where Alvin's weapons were, his sword was not too far from the edge of the broken bridge while his gun was closer to him lying on it's side. The weapon itself was a complete mystery to him. How Alvin explained it to him that it was using Efreetian arts….but the truth was they were just bullets, a powdery substance within them that caused them to turn into fire when they were ejected. He's heard it in theory...he seen it in practice over and over again.

He's been on the other end of it….

Jude lifted his gaze back over to Alvin, who seemed to be following his gaze as well before meeting his again, a hand nudging his gun with a firm push that the weapon slides and nudges into Jude's knee.

"Go ahead. I'm good as gone...and if you don't do it, I'm sure Muzet will be more than happy to do it...I know just as much as you do to her…"

"Alvin you can't be serious-!" Jude gaped.

"Just do it...I...I'd rather have you do it...you of all people...deserve to be the one who puts an end to me." Alvin's expression seemed to mimic one of a wounded animal, losing the will to fight, "Just fucking do it!"

The younger male felt his mouth go dry, but his body seemed to mechanically move for him as he bent lowered his hand to pick up the gun. It was heavier than it looked, it felt awkward in his hands...hard...cold...that a piece of metal like this….could turn a bullet into a fiery blaze in an instant.

"Just hold it up and pull…" Alvin said to pull Jude from his thoughts, shifting so he was facing the other, knees pulled up, one arm still clutching his waist, the other propped on one knee, if he didn't looked so pained, this was similar to the casual sitting stance he would settle to whenever they were on their breaks between the journey...laughing his ass off next to the campfire….talking about some silly story about his mercenary missions and how some things would go wrong or interesting..just to get a laugh from the rest of the group.

The expressions of Alvin's laughter to the expression he was staring at now seemed to flash back and forth in Jude's mind, holding the gun properly in both his hands since he couldn't keep it held steady in one. His eyes seemed to go out of focus...even though Alvin was point blank in front of him...unarmed...this wasn't a parlor trick...this wasn't a lie…

This was a broken man at the end of his rope…

"I shouldn't have….I shouldn't have turned my back on you...I broke my promise…" Alvin said as he lowered his head, the grip he had around his waist tightened as he spoke, as if each bit of air was difficult to take, "I can't keep fucking up like this..knowing that it's hurting you...just...just do us both a fucking favor alright?"

"Is….is that why…" Jude asked with the gun pointed at Alvin, he couldn't miss...even when his vision was going in an out on him….

"What do you think it's about? No matter how hard I try Jude...I'm always becoming the worst for you...so what's the fucking point…" Alvin choked, his upper body making a violent twitch forward, "So stop stalling, kid...fucking put an end to me already!"

Jude's arms felt like they were holding a ton in each of them, struggling to keep the gun steady as tears rolled freely down his face, "You...bastard…"

"That's right...I am...that's all I ever need to be in your eyes Jude…." Alvin repeated, "I fucked you up mentally and physically because I needed to...I needed to do it to survive… I'm nothing but a parasite….what are you waiting for?!...I SAID-"

"STOP LYING TO ME!" Jude shouted, pulling the trigger, the bullet flying past Alvin's cheek and careening into the tree behind them, the blast causing Alvin to jolt and Jude to fly backwards on his back from the recoil. The frantic movements made Alvin's broad sword fall to the ground, slamming tip first into the soil beneath them.

The gun fire seemed to echo in the night, birds that were in the trees fluttered and escaped away from any of the potential danger that the two had expressed in words and fists and gunfire. Jude managed to roll on his side, tossing the gun away from him and Alvin so that it was out of reach, sobbing, his hands shakily going to his head as he spoke, "Stop...just stop….stop lying!...Don't...don't make me go back on my promise to see you through, damnit!"

Alvin's eyes widened in shock at the other's words, it hit him harder than any bullet could through his heart...He watched as Jude curled up, letting the tears fall to where it didn't seem like there was any way of stopping them as Jude continued, "No matter how rotten you get...no matter how many stupid lies you make, I made a promise to you…! I want...I want to see the best in you, Alvin….but I can't if you're dead! If you're...if I….If I….." Jude shook his head wildly like he didn't want to believe what he just did mere minutes ago, "If I went...through with that….I would've never forgiven myself!"

"Jude….Jude…!" Alvin managed to crawl over to the other, gathering the younger male in his arms, which was immediately welcomed, the doctor grabbing fistfuls of Alvin's coat, crying by the buckets into the other's scarf. Alvin didn't care as he tightened his embrace, no matter how much his body was hurting, no matter how much his mind was screaming for him to stop...that this was only delaying the inevitable….that he didn't deserve Jude's happiness if that was even obtainable….

But he stayed there, just letting the other cry in his arms, running his shaky calloused fingers though the other's soft black hair, his own tears running freely, "Jude...I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry…"

After a while of Jude crying his eyes out, hiccuping slightly to calm his breathing he kept his face buried in Alvin's chest as he spoke, "Please Alvin...please tell me...that was...the worst for us…"

Alvin sure as hell hoped so...but he wasn't going to lie to the younger male, he had now seen Jude at his absolute worst.

And he never wanted to see it ever again.

"I can't be the judge of that….but for conscience sake...let's hope it is...look towards….the best…"

"Yeah…" Jude agreed, still buried into the mercenary's chest, his hand moved to embrace the other, only for Alvin to flinch. Jude pulled back, teary eyed as he looked at his hand which was covered in blood, "Alvin-"

"It's nothing, I'm fine-" Alvin tried to argue but Jude firmly pushed the other back on the ground, wordlessly grasping his white button up and yanking it open, seeing the damage that was done. Alvin raised his arm to stop the younger, but he shoved it back.

"What did I say about lying to me?" He said angrily, tears were still rolling down his face. The mercenary didn't fight back this time, watching as Jude searched for other injury points, "Where else does it hurt?"

"Everywhere." Alvin replied dully, staring up at the branches above them. Jude noticed that dazed look anywhere as he lightly shook the other.

"Alvin stay with me okay?! Where's your Lilium orb?!"

Alvin didn't respond, causing Jude to shake him harder, "Alvin! Where. Is. Your Lilium orb?!"

"Here…" He pointed to one of the inner pockets of his jacket which Jude dove into. Once he had the small orb in his bloodied hand he activated them both, his eyes widened at how weak the other's heart rate was.

He was intending on dying here whether Jude found him or not.

The doctor put his free hand back on the wound clutching it tightly as his mana forced it's way against it, the mercenary thrashed,making the bridge sway threateningly back and forth with no care of the pair that was on it, but Jude kept him still as he shouted, "Immaculate healer!"

"Jude...please…"Alvin tried as he reached up and grasped the other's arm, his blood staining the other's clothing, his eyes more focused the longer Jude held the arte. Jude looked at him, the tears still falling.

"I meant it when I said that I want to see the best of you..you're not allowed to die on me Alvin. Not yet…"

Alvin winced as he felt the arte kick in on his wound, feeling it little by little close up on him, it felt like scalding hot coals against his side sealing the cut. He wanted to scream out but he bit them back, as his consciousness was returning to him, he could feel the urgency and panic that was coming from Jude's aura.

"Alvin...Say something… Please…" Jude stated as he leaned over the other. Alvin shifted his head to stare up at the other, reaching his hand up to touch the younger's face. Jude quietly placed his hand over Alvin's feeling him brush away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry...I...I really mean it...I caused this...I caused...all of this…"

"Alvin…"

"Don't….talk me out of it...I can't run away again...I can't run away anymore...I have to set things right...even if it hurts…"

Jude pulled his hand away from the wound that was now closed, leaving only the tears and bloodstains on Alvin's clothing. He gently moved the other's bangs aside so he could stare at those brown eyes, for once...feeling that they were meaning every word that he said.

Because he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

"Alvin...no matter what happens, we'll fight through this together…" Jude noticed a sudden change in Alvin's heart rate as if adrenaline kicked in for him. Alvin's hand moved to the back of Jude's head, pulling him down for a kiss.

The younger wanted to fight back, wanted to punch the living crap out of the mercenary for even thinking this was the time for kissing but his fist fell and landed next to Alvin's head so he could deepen the kiss. He was in too deep...he missed this...he longed for this...no matter how much he just wanted to be pissed off at Alvin for everything he had done he kept coming back to this...how much he needed the other there despite all the bad…He paused in the kiss, pulling back as he gave a concerned look, "Alvin, should...we be even-"

Alvin didn't want to hear it as he caught Jude up in a liplock again, this time the young doctor didn't dare pull away again, slumping into Alvin's waiting arms, the lillium orb seemed to heighten his senses, hearing the pulsing sensation of Alvin's heart in his ear, he could sense every potential move that the other was going to make, like the fact that Alvin was sitting up, that his own hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt that his own seemed to do away with the fly and belt of his slacks.

The mercenary only pulled away from the kiss so he could bite down on Jude's shoulder, the younger male did what he could to brace the pain of it, relishing in it since he could feel every possessive intent that the other had, wave after wave of it swelling to his very being. His head tilted back as he felt that mouth venture down, praising the doctor's skin worshiping it like a deity, dragging his lips and tongue down with no sense of shame or insecurity. He didn't care if any of the natives nearby saw them above, and it made it rather known to the youth as he changed their positions.

Jude didn't even have a moment to make a yelp of surprise when he looked eye to eye with the mercenary. That same broken man had a glint of determination...a glimmer of hope...determination to show that he was exhausted but he wasn't done and out.

Alvin paused at his pants before looking back up at Jude, the younger male didn't even need to make a gesture to the mercenary to continue, the lilium orb connection made it easy for their feelings to be known without exchanging words, it was as if their feelings were completely exposed for them, for once they didn't have to worry about something being hidden as Alvin removed the teen's pants with haste, finishing the job Jude started with his own. After the struggle of getting the necessary clothing out of the way, they found themselves tangled in each other's arms, Jude unable to hold back the strangled cry when he felt Alvin's length press at his entrance impatiently, for a moment the older gave concern, however it was pushed aside when Jude yanked the other right back down into another lip lock, giving the mercenary the nerve to push himself into Jude.

At first the doctor regretted it, biting on Alvin's bottom lip to the point he broke skin, tasting the copper on his tongue, but Alvin knew how much pain the other was feeling, guiding Jude's arms so they were under his shirt and attached to his back, digging his nails down as his hips slowly inched their way to where they met. When Jude let go of Alvin's lip he pulled back, blood rolling a little down his chin.

"Alvin…" Jude managed, licking his lips as he stared up at the other, his legs tightened around the other's waist, feeling the dull pain every time his hips moved, but the older didn't dare move his hips as he leaned down to continue his worship of Jude's lithe body beneath him, pulling all the sighs, gasps and groans from the youth's lips until he could feel the younger buck beneath him, "Please Alvin...Please!"

The mercenary complied to the other's plea, pulling back just a little before going back in, getting progressively further and harder with his thrusts to guide the other's mind off of the pain. Jude yelped when he felt the movements caused them to rock back and forth, the bridge they were suspended on rocked and swayed, Jude turned his head, getting a large sense of vertigo from the height they were in. Soon he felt Alvin move him so his head was slightly off the bridge, the amount of vertigo was Increasing, dizzying him up getting a lost in the pleasure and high of their love making.

"Jude..." Alvin managed as his hand went between them as he continued his hip motions and now stroking Jude's weeping length. The doctor's body leaned up to it, welcoming it regardless of how much it was bringing him closer to his peak, it was almost completely dusk, but the lilium orbs were glowing bright enough that they could still meet each other's gaze in the dark, seeing that glazed expression on Alvin's face, only managing to return his own, his brain was only able to function and focus on making noises of encouragement for the mercenary to continue.

The young doctor didn't have it in him to tell the man that he was close, but he knew his lilium orb screamed it out for him because Alvin's body moved faster. Jude sat up, feeling like he would lose all sense of balance if he let the mercenary go, that if he let go all of this would be a dream, if he let go that Alvin would be gone. But he couldn't hold his climax back any longer as he released a strangled cry of Alvin's name, the mercenary swore under his breath, biting down on Jude's shoulder as he followed suit, shifting so they were along the bridge instead of across it, feeling the swaying motions come to a slow stop as their lungs struggled for breath.

For a while neither of them said anything, just enjoying the silence between them and only the sounds of the crickets and the rustle of the wind playing against the leaves of the naple trees.

Alvin tilted his head down to look at Jude, but the youth had found himself curled up in the older man's arms, refusing to budge. The mercenary didn't try to wake the other, kissing his forehead before dozing off himself.

==

The next morning, Jude woke up to Alvin straightening himself up, sitting on the bridge with his legs dangling off it, swing them slowly back and forth like a child that just got lectured. Jude soon followed suit, sitting next to the other, but not exactly close, his hands neatly folded on his lap, "Where are you going?"

It was almost as if that was what the mercenary was thinking about, "...I don't know...I don't feel exactly welcome after shooting…"

"...You need to apologize to her." Jude said finally.

"I know…" Alvin looked away, which only made Jude turn to him with clenched fists.

"Why can't you-"

"It's too soon..l...let the girl recover first...alright? She's stronger than she looks, but...I know that I can't approach her right now at least…" Alvin said, still looking away. Jude lowered his hands back to his lap as if ashamed of starting up another fight.

"Will you….come back?"

"...Do you want me back?" Alvin asked reluctantly.

"...I don't know…" Jude started, his heart wanted the other back. But he knew in his mind the rest of the group probably wouldn't agree once they hear what had happened.

"...I can't say I blame you...or them for that matter." Alvin mumbled, "...I got a lot of thinking to do, Jude...it's best we go our separate ways for now...but let's...let's not say goodbye just yet."

"Are you planning on going home…? Home home?" Jude asked.

"I failed Muzet's mission, remember? I don't plan on trying to succeed in it…"

"...Then where will you go?" Jude asked as Alvin stood up.

"...That I don't know either…"

Jude lowered his head, it wasn't like he could stop the other but he felt movement on the bridge. He looked up to see Alvin kneel down on one knee so they were eye to eye. Alvin stared into Jude's eyes before letting a sigh escape his lips, leaning down to kiss the other softly. They held the kiss before Alvin moved away and stood up, Jude reaching out as the mercenary turned away, but his hand reluctantly lowered. He watched as Alvin made his way down to the bottom on solid ground, pulling his sword that was embedded into the earth to drape on his shoulder like he normally did, giving a wave of his gun as he left. Jude continued to watch the other until his figure was out of sight before flopping back on the bridge, holding his hands to his eyes with a sad smile on his face before tears rolled down his cheekbones.

_"Don't….talk me out of it...I can't run away again...I can't run away anymore...I have to set things right...even if it hurts…"_

He had to believe this was the last time…

It was all they had left….

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! It continues where it left off from here, blah blah blah.
> 
> I thank everyone who took the time to read this, it's been an honor to write this. Soon I'll be working on a new one called Basorexia! Please stay tuned for it! Let me know what you think of this one!


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